Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Natural Healing?

Hmm...Maybe not so much.

But close!

See - for years I've been into the idea of "natural" hygiene products. I don't mean that I'll go so far as to spend oodles of money on some sort of snake-oil. However, I have been known to smear bananas all over my face (a natural softening agent!!) or tomatoes all  over my face (their acidity and antioxidants restore something or other) or use cranberry juice as a natural astringent, and egg yolks as a moose-like curl booster.

Yes, I've made myself oatmeal masks, and stood over a pot of boiling water to open and cleanse the pores.

Go ahead - ask me. I know you're dying to know. Did any of that work, right?

Nope.

But did I feel cool doing it?

You betcha.

But let's not be pretentious, here. No matter how good it felt to be using fruits and vegetables in place of chemicals, and no matter how much it made me feel like a do-gooding flower child, I only did them once or twice. Why? Well, because I didn't feel they worked any better than my large pump bottle of Costco Cetaphil.

But the other day I bought a "Family Circle" magazine because it advertised some really great slow-cooker recipes. And let me tell ya - they're really great. But another article in the magazine talked about some quick and easy beauty enhancers and you may as well cue the gospel choir now, because I found one that worked!!!

Honey.

Hooray for my feel-good picture of honey!



That's right, folks, honey. It's a natural moisturizer and it's naturally antimicrobial. I'm assuming that means it really doesn't like microbes.

Anyway - just mix a pea-sized dollop of honey with your regular moisturizer (I do this on the top of my hand because it's less absorbent than the bottom part of the hand) and then you spread it all around your face like normal.

I LOVE IT.

It actually feels like I've got moisture in my skin, and my face is supple and radiant (and if you're not careful, a little sticky) and did I mention that I LOVE IT?

Go ahead - be skeptical. But I dare you try it.

You'll like it, too.

And your face will smell really good

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

My Basic Belief

I like to believe that people are basically good. Isn't that a nicer way to see the world? To be able to go out and about and believe you'll come home alive with your house untouched?

Frankly, I believe in the great, good potential of humanity.

I wish that more people would believe in this, too. I also wish that more people lived in a way that proved it to be true. I hate to say it, but sometimes I hear things on the news or see people do any say things and I have to consciously remind myself that I believe people have goodness within them.

Sad that I have to remind myself of that. 

More sad that some people act in a way that make it so I have to remind myself.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Another Night to Blog

Everyone wants to write something, i think. They want to write something that changes lives, that affects someone and that really hits the spot, whatever that spot may be. It's gotta have "it!" Whatever the "it" refers to.

I don't think this is that blog.

I think this is just the blog that everyone writes when they're trying to write the spectacular memoir on life and religion, or on living in harmony - as one with oneself and with the world. This is that blog - that pseduo-spectacular thing - that is interesting to none but the reader.

Thought number one:
Isn't it delightful to be touched? I think so. It's quite pleasing to have someone want to be close to you. It gives you the impression that they care and may have particular interest. Juxtapose it with all the strings attached and it's not so much fun anymore.

Thought number two:
"Isn't it funny?!" She says and looks at me, laughing with mutual appreciation and understanding, while simultaneously he spouts "Isn't it funny?!" with that same look of awareness and comprehension. And then, looking from her to him, him to her, it all makes sense. The phrase "middle man" comes to life, as does the phrase "3rd wheel." And it all makes sense that Dan in Real Life is biographical and so very, very true tl life. All you can expect is to be surprised, and..SURPRISE! Sometimes things just happen. Which is good! But why, then, is there so much apprehension? And why is it that the unwritten rules are what keep everything all at bay? Doesn't it just make sense for everything to work out great? But - are personal insecurities, and self esteem more important than mutual attraction and happy endings? Probably. And that's when reality sets in again. Don't you just wanna kick it and smash it with a frying pan?!?!

And then there is everyone else. It's good that there are other options. It makes it a little easier pill to swallow. It's nice that everyone else is kind, and attractive and mildly invested, perhaps. I'm too used to it, though, i suppose. I should be independent and take time to "figure myself out" but...no. That's not what i want.

Mostly, I do just want to not have to try. It scares me to have to get to know people - i dont' know how! I've gotten too used to being myself, my whole self, all the time and not being judged for it. What then? What if it's not desirable. What if it's not wanted or appreciated. 
Why can't we all just be honest and say what we feel!?

Matthew 6:25-27

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink... Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" 

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Just Some Mind Vomit for Another Thoughtful Evening

Oh, all right then. Just this once.




Think about it - it makes sense.

Really, pick any metaphor you like

The Clock Is Ticking!

With just a blink of an eye, it's April. We have past a good quarter of year 2014 And I'll officially hit 20 in a month now. And yes, a good quarter life has passed on me (assuming I will age till 100 that is.. )

TIME. is so valuable. it's so Precious because we can never turn it back. 
TIME. is a ticking clock, or an hourglass that slowly, and surely, minus off the remaining of our seconds, minutes, hours, days or years of our lives.
TIME. we sometimes chase it so much to complete our task and after it's completed, we sit there wondering what is it we have contributed to.
TIME. will never stop running.

And so, amidst all the forecasts and predictions that 2014 will mark the end of the year- again, shouldn't we appreciate it even more? Shouldn't we make the most out of the Time, instead of being so fearful that this world will end?


This year is going to be a make it or break it year for me. A year to evaluate my report card on my results in this journey i embarked on. I swayed and now I am back. I doubted and now I believe. My vision was slightly out of focus and now, i am back on track.

I still think that I'm young. and I can actually take my time. That is until I'm hitting twenty, I realized, I wasn't going anywhere. I had a vision, and that was it. I literally took things for granted.
It was always the I Wanted to succeed.

Now it's, I Need to succeed and I Dare to succeed. Since I'm an incoming senior student, which is my last year in college, my goal is to make it to the dean's list this school year, receive that best thesis award and pass all my subjects to graduate on time.

How about you?  Are you making a progress in your life? Or are you contented with what you already have? And the thing with contentment is, it is a voluntary contentment of "I have all good things in my life" or a forced, because-I-have-tried-all-sorts-of-way-but-I-failed-and-I-am-sick-of-trying-again sort of contentment? 

You can't turn back time but given the opportunity, how would you like to redesign your lives again?

I don't know about you, I firmly believe that I can. Redesign and create my life in a way that i want it to be ;)

Speechless


WHY DO I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE BLOGGING IN THE MAD WEE HOURS OF THE MORNING?!?

Friday, April 11, 2014

Thin Slicing

I'm reading a book that I enjoy.



It's Brilliant.

In it, I've read about the concept of "thin slicing." A concept so profound and so true that until it's pointed out to you, you'd scarcely see that you do it all day every day! Thin slicing refers to the fact that when we are faced with new things, new situations, new people, and sometimes even old situations - we deduce almost immediately how to feel about it, and how to react. I loved it.

Based upon the smallest and almost imperceptible things we can realize so much.

An aspect of thin slicing that I've become painfully aware of recently is the fact that the WAY you "thin slice" someone or something can often depend on external influences and factors. It's the concept that you're more likely to do well on a test when you shift your mind into a more professorial mindset, rather than the "unprepared, ignorant student" mindset. Nothing changes about your knowledge or preparedness - only your mindset. One aspect I find exceedingly interesting (and often quite obvious) is that when you surround yourself with positive influences, you're more likely to associate positivity with the world around you.

Here's a test straight from the book:

"We make connections much more quickly between pairs of ideas that are already related in our minds than we do between pairs of ideas that are unfamiliar to us. What does that mean? Let me give you an example. Below is a list of words. Tap your finger in the approrpiate column to assign each name to the category to which it belongs. Do it as quickly as you can. Don't skip over words and don't worry if you make any mistakes.

Male ------------------- Female
.............John................
.............Bob.................
..............Amy...............
.............Holly..............
.............Joan...............
.............Derek.............
............Peggy...............
............Jason..............
............Lisa..............
.............Matt...............
............Sarah...............

That was easy, right?....That was a warm up. Now let's complete an actual IAT [test]. It works like the warm-up except now I'm going to mix two entirely separate categories together. Once again, put a check mark to either the right or the left of each word in the category to which it belongs.

Male or Career-----------------Female or Family
.....................Lisa.........................
.....................Matt.........................
.....................Laundry......................
.....................Entrepreneur.................
.....................John.........................
.....................Merchant.....................
.....................Bob..........................
.....................Capitalist...................
.....................Holly........................
.....................Joan.........................
.....................Home.........................
.....................Corporation..................
.....................Siblings.....................
.....................Peggy........................
.....................Kitchen......................
.....................Derek........................

"My guess is that most of you found that a little harder, but that you were still pretty fastat putting the words into the right categories. Now try this:

Male or Family------------------Female or Career
....................Babies........................
....................Sarah........................
....................Derek........................
....................Merchant........................
....................Employment........................
....................John........................
....................Holly........................
....................Bob........................
....................Domestic........................
....................Entrepreneur........................
....................Office........................
.................... Joan........................
....................Peggy........................
....................Cousins........................
....................Grandparents........................
....................Corporation........................

Did you notice the difference? This test was quite a bit harder than the one before it, wasn't it? IF you are like most people, you took a little longer...That's because most of us have much stronger mental associations between maleness and career-oriented concepts than we do between femaleness and ideas related to careers.

Interesting, right?

Today - I looked around my room, listening to George Benson, the Beatles, jazz and other such hopes, I saw 3 books on my desk next to my joy journal; "Blink," "Between The Lines," and "Sophie's World." I saw a painting of Brian Andreas that says "Feels like some kind of ride but it's turning out just to be life going absolutelyyy perfectly." I saw a Beatles poster, a picture of my grandfather, my sister, my friends, and Jesus. And as I remember where I've been and who I've left pieces of myself with, I feel content.

I think I'm attracted to positivity. I think we all are- but sometimes feel guilty about it. But because of that, I almost want more of it - to be freakishly optimistic is, admittedly, a strange goal I have in sight.
And so, I can only hope that these external factors really do help my perspective. I think that sometimes I feel them in the things i do and the ways i react. And that - well, that makes me happy.

And happiness is certainly a step in the right direction, after all.

Blogging

I think I want to start again.

Because yesterday, while drinking the most delicious chocolate mousse frappe I've ever tasted. And every time I go up there, whether to drink, explore or play, I'm always inspired. I really should go more often.

I decided that it's about time I start doing the things I want to do and being who I always thought I would be.

Ever thought of that? Just being who you want to be? Just start.

That's what I'm going to try doing.

And I will accomplish it by doing the following things:

Eating less
Running more
Disconnecting more frequently from technology
Reading books I like
Finding my spirituality
Spending time with people I Love
Taking care of myself and others
Loving
Getting rid of so much of the "stuff" I own
Working hard (increasing work ethic)
Redefining, and strengthening personal values

Ah, summer resolutions. They always seem to work out better for me than the January kind.

Not a Deep Dark Secret Anymore

Have you ever thought about what you would do with your life if EVERY option were available, regardless of time, talent, education or money?

I have.

Do you know what I would choose to do?

I would make music videos.

Not sleezy semi-pornographic videos, no no.

Neat ones:

Why? Because they're beautiful and creative and fun. And I want to make things that are beautiful, and sometimes I feel like I'm creative and it would be fun to do.

Will I ever do it?

Probably yes.

 I think I might even make one like this for kicks:

Thursday, April 10, 2014

This Is A Great Exercise.

I actually got so much from this.

"We always focus on what we lack. And we put so much time worrying about the things we do not have. Sometimes, even just the little things.. How we can speak, listen and see.. Our 2 hands and our feet. We should be happy for even just that..." said by my guidance counselor.

It's true. In fact, lately, I have been sulking so much and almost losing my mind due to all the negativity that it has been driving me pretty insane for the past few days. In which, of course, answered to my zero energy.

So instead of continuing that way, because God knows it gives me zero productivity and more chances of hating myself, my guidance counselor proposed that I write down on a piece of clean A4 paper the things that I am grateful for. With both sides of the paper filled.
I decided to also share it out to all of you out there so that you can give me a friendly reminder if ever I bring myself down again. Also, who knows. It might inspire you to do the same as well ;)

Enough said, so here goes (in no particular order):

  • I am grateful for being alive
  • I am grateful for my mom
  • I am grateful for my dad
  • I am grateful for my brother
  • I am grateful for my sister
  • I am grateful for my grandma
  • I am grateful for the house that I live in
  • I am grateful for my aunt and cousins I am with
  • I am grateful for my clingy/crazy friends
  • I am grateful for my boyfriend
  • I am grateful for my arms and legs to commute around with
  • I am grateful for being able to see, listen and express (Goddess of Mercy)
  • I am grateful to my God for always protecting me 
  • I am grateful to Mariela Beautie
  • I am grateful to Kristine Cinco
  • I am grateful for my years in Miriam College
  • I am grateful to my high school friends
  • I am grateful for my cats
  • I am grateful for my outlook
  • I am grateful for being able to smile
  • I am grateful for being right-handed
  • I am grateful for my health
  • I am grateful for all my talents
  • I am grateful for being 19 ;)
  • I am grateful for being smart, and at times creative
  • I am grateful for the love I get from people around me
  • I am grateful to the people that i have encountered with
  • I am grateful for the opportunity to make life better
  • I am grateful for the clean water I drink
  • I am grateful for the food that I can enjoy
  • I am grateful that the world is still intact, and to all the efforts put in to make this place a better place to live in
  • I am grateful for being ME.

     Without which, I will never become who I am right now. So Thank YOU!

    As I was listing down each and every one of them, I have so many things to be thankful for. And so many things that i already have. I truly got to know myself even better, and relive the things that I cherish most in life.

    I know that what I have is a privilege and I am truly a blessed one.

    My dears, I urge you to do the same. Start with an empty piece of paper and write down the things that you are grateful for. I believe, you won't regret ;)

    Thank you dear guidance counselor for this wonderful assignment. (I got more from typing them one by one again ;))


FESS UP (I'd rather make a fuss.)

I'd rather make a fuss about you, and them, and all the laundry that's left to do rather than fess up about what's wrong with me. I'm not talking about things like my thighs are too big, my face broke out again, and my hair has split-ends. I'm quite good at that, thank-you. I'd probably tear myself down in every imaginable direction before realizing that those things aren't even what's wrong with me.

It's not about finding myself. It's not about discovering who I am. It's not about accepting my inner being. It's not about finding peace or meditation.

This is about digging deep and opening doors that I closed. This is about opening that mystery container in the refrigerator that has been conveniently forgotten. This is the scary part where I'd rather hide, but if I know what's best for me, I won't.

And now is the time to come face to face with myself because nobody else can do this for me. Here's to changing for the better because it's what God wants, and what I want too.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Internship, Fitness and Productivity

I know, I know. It's been six months since I last posted an entry on my blog. I was just really so occupied with things in school, such as my dissertation (which btw a super big deal!), my feature-length screenplay in my Film class, issues happening in my radio production class and more. But thank you, Lord! I made it this semester and finally school is over! I am straight off an incoming senior student in college next school year. Hooray!

Moving on, it's already summer in the Philippines and many are planning to spend their vacation in another country, at the beach or in a province, but not me. I'll be expending my time, specifically 200 hours, in the company I'm working at right now. I just began yesterday and I had fun doing the tasks my supervisor assigned to me, like updating the company's website and their social media platforms, research news and other articles related to their company (Which is more about green living and technology ;)).

And since my work schedule is really flexible, I also planned to spend half of my day everyday working out! Yep, that's right... WORKING OUT! My goal this month is to lose more fat, retain my body toned, and have that bikini body when it's time to go to the beach! After all the work in the office, I'm sure I still want to show off my torso (just hoping that my school won't give me a violation. Bahaha!)

I'm so glad I found a way to make this summer productive! Yay!

I promise to keep this blog updated from now on :))) just keep in touch. I have go, time to go to work ;)

Xoxo.

Natural Healing?

Hmm...Maybe not so much.

But close!

See - for years I've been into the idea of "natural" hygiene products. I don't mean that I'll go so far as to spend oodles of money on some sort of snake-oil. However, I have been known to smear bananas all over my face (a natural softening agent!!) or tomatoes all  over my face (their acidity and antioxidants restore something or other) or use cranberry juice as a natural astringent, and egg yolks as a moose-like curl booster.

Yes, I've made myself oatmeal masks, and stood over a pot of boiling water to open and cleanse the pores.

Go ahead - ask me. I know you're dying to know. Did any of that work, right?

Nope.

But did I feel cool doing it?

You betcha.

But let's not be pretentious, here. No matter how good it felt to be using fruits and vegetables in place of chemicals, and no matter how much it made me feel like a do-gooding flower child, I only did them once or twice. Why? Well, because I didn't feel they worked any better than my large pump bottle of Costco Cetaphil.

But the other day I bought a "Family Circle" magazine because it advertised some really great slow-cooker recipes. And let me tell ya - they're really great. But another article in the magazine talked about some quick and easy beauty enhancers and you may as well cue the gospel choir now, because I found one that worked!!!

Honey.

Hooray for my feel-good picture of honey!



That's right, folks, honey. It's a natural moisturizer and it's naturally antimicrobial. I'm assuming that means it really doesn't like microbes.

Anyway - just mix a pea-sized dollop of honey with your regular moisturizer (I do this on the top of my hand because it's less absorbent than the bottom part of the hand) and then you spread it all around your face like normal.

I LOVE IT.

It actually feels like I've got moisture in my skin, and my face is supple and radiant (and if you're not careful, a little sticky) and did I mention that I LOVE IT?

Go ahead - be skeptical. But I dare you try it.

You'll like it, too.

And your face will smell really good

My Basic Belief

I like to believe that people are basically good. Isn't that a nicer way to see the world? To be able to go out and about and believe you'll come home alive with your house untouched?

Frankly, I believe in the great, good potential of humanity.

I wish that more people would believe in this, too. I also wish that more people lived in a way that proved it to be true. I hate to say it, but sometimes I hear things on the news or see people do any say things and I have to consciously remind myself that I believe people have goodness within them.

Sad that I have to remind myself of that. 

More sad that some people act in a way that make it so I have to remind myself.

Another Night to Blog

Everyone wants to write something, i think. They want to write something that changes lives, that affects someone and that really hits the spot, whatever that spot may be. It's gotta have "it!" Whatever the "it" refers to.

I don't think this is that blog.

I think this is just the blog that everyone writes when they're trying to write the spectacular memoir on life and religion, or on living in harmony - as one with oneself and with the world. This is that blog - that pseduo-spectacular thing - that is interesting to none but the reader.

Thought number one:
Isn't it delightful to be touched? I think so. It's quite pleasing to have someone want to be close to you. It gives you the impression that they care and may have particular interest. Juxtapose it with all the strings attached and it's not so much fun anymore.

Thought number two:
"Isn't it funny?!" She says and looks at me, laughing with mutual appreciation and understanding, while simultaneously he spouts "Isn't it funny?!" with that same look of awareness and comprehension. And then, looking from her to him, him to her, it all makes sense. The phrase "middle man" comes to life, as does the phrase "3rd wheel." And it all makes sense that Dan in Real Life is biographical and so very, very true tl life. All you can expect is to be surprised, and..SURPRISE! Sometimes things just happen. Which is good! But why, then, is there so much apprehension? And why is it that the unwritten rules are what keep everything all at bay? Doesn't it just make sense for everything to work out great? But - are personal insecurities, and self esteem more important than mutual attraction and happy endings? Probably. And that's when reality sets in again. Don't you just wanna kick it and smash it with a frying pan?!?!

And then there is everyone else. It's good that there are other options. It makes it a little easier pill to swallow. It's nice that everyone else is kind, and attractive and mildly invested, perhaps. I'm too used to it, though, i suppose. I should be independent and take time to "figure myself out" but...no. That's not what i want.

Mostly, I do just want to not have to try. It scares me to have to get to know people - i dont' know how! I've gotten too used to being myself, my whole self, all the time and not being judged for it. What then? What if it's not desirable. What if it's not wanted or appreciated. 
Why can't we all just be honest and say what we feel!?

Matthew 6:25-27

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink... Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" 

Just Some Mind Vomit for Another Thoughtful Evening

Oh, all right then. Just this once.




Think about it - it makes sense.

Really, pick any metaphor you like

The Clock Is Ticking!

With just a blink of an eye, it's April. We have past a good quarter of year 2014 And I'll officially hit 20 in a month now. And yes, a good quarter life has passed on me (assuming I will age till 100 that is.. )

TIME. is so valuable. it's so Precious because we can never turn it back. 
TIME. is a ticking clock, or an hourglass that slowly, and surely, minus off the remaining of our seconds, minutes, hours, days or years of our lives.
TIME. we sometimes chase it so much to complete our task and after it's completed, we sit there wondering what is it we have contributed to.
TIME. will never stop running.

And so, amidst all the forecasts and predictions that 2014 will mark the end of the year- again, shouldn't we appreciate it even more? Shouldn't we make the most out of the Time, instead of being so fearful that this world will end?


This year is going to be a make it or break it year for me. A year to evaluate my report card on my results in this journey i embarked on. I swayed and now I am back. I doubted and now I believe. My vision was slightly out of focus and now, i am back on track.

I still think that I'm young. and I can actually take my time. That is until I'm hitting twenty, I realized, I wasn't going anywhere. I had a vision, and that was it. I literally took things for granted.
It was always the I Wanted to succeed.

Now it's, I Need to succeed and I Dare to succeed. Since I'm an incoming senior student, which is my last year in college, my goal is to make it to the dean's list this school year, receive that best thesis award and pass all my subjects to graduate on time.

How about you?  Are you making a progress in your life? Or are you contented with what you already have? And the thing with contentment is, it is a voluntary contentment of "I have all good things in my life" or a forced, because-I-have-tried-all-sorts-of-way-but-I-failed-and-I-am-sick-of-trying-again sort of contentment? 

You can't turn back time but given the opportunity, how would you like to redesign your lives again?

I don't know about you, I firmly believe that I can. Redesign and create my life in a way that i want it to be ;)

Speechless


WHY DO I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE BLOGGING IN THE MAD WEE HOURS OF THE MORNING?!?

Thin Slicing

I'm reading a book that I enjoy.



It's Brilliant.

In it, I've read about the concept of "thin slicing." A concept so profound and so true that until it's pointed out to you, you'd scarcely see that you do it all day every day! Thin slicing refers to the fact that when we are faced with new things, new situations, new people, and sometimes even old situations - we deduce almost immediately how to feel about it, and how to react. I loved it.

Based upon the smallest and almost imperceptible things we can realize so much.

An aspect of thin slicing that I've become painfully aware of recently is the fact that the WAY you "thin slice" someone or something can often depend on external influences and factors. It's the concept that you're more likely to do well on a test when you shift your mind into a more professorial mindset, rather than the "unprepared, ignorant student" mindset. Nothing changes about your knowledge or preparedness - only your mindset. One aspect I find exceedingly interesting (and often quite obvious) is that when you surround yourself with positive influences, you're more likely to associate positivity with the world around you.

Here's a test straight from the book:

"We make connections much more quickly between pairs of ideas that are already related in our minds than we do between pairs of ideas that are unfamiliar to us. What does that mean? Let me give you an example. Below is a list of words. Tap your finger in the approrpiate column to assign each name to the category to which it belongs. Do it as quickly as you can. Don't skip over words and don't worry if you make any mistakes.

Male ------------------- Female
.............John................
.............Bob.................
..............Amy...............
.............Holly..............
.............Joan...............
.............Derek.............
............Peggy...............
............Jason..............
............Lisa..............
.............Matt...............
............Sarah...............

That was easy, right?....That was a warm up. Now let's complete an actual IAT [test]. It works like the warm-up except now I'm going to mix two entirely separate categories together. Once again, put a check mark to either the right or the left of each word in the category to which it belongs.

Male or Career-----------------Female or Family
.....................Lisa.........................
.....................Matt.........................
.....................Laundry......................
.....................Entrepreneur.................
.....................John.........................
.....................Merchant.....................
.....................Bob..........................
.....................Capitalist...................
.....................Holly........................
.....................Joan.........................
.....................Home.........................
.....................Corporation..................
.....................Siblings.....................
.....................Peggy........................
.....................Kitchen......................
.....................Derek........................

"My guess is that most of you found that a little harder, but that you were still pretty fastat putting the words into the right categories. Now try this:

Male or Family------------------Female or Career
....................Babies........................
....................Sarah........................
....................Derek........................
....................Merchant........................
....................Employment........................
....................John........................
....................Holly........................
....................Bob........................
....................Domestic........................
....................Entrepreneur........................
....................Office........................
.................... Joan........................
....................Peggy........................
....................Cousins........................
....................Grandparents........................
....................Corporation........................

Did you notice the difference? This test was quite a bit harder than the one before it, wasn't it? IF you are like most people, you took a little longer...That's because most of us have much stronger mental associations between maleness and career-oriented concepts than we do between femaleness and ideas related to careers.

Interesting, right?

Today - I looked around my room, listening to George Benson, the Beatles, jazz and other such hopes, I saw 3 books on my desk next to my joy journal; "Blink," "Between The Lines," and "Sophie's World." I saw a painting of Brian Andreas that says "Feels like some kind of ride but it's turning out just to be life going absolutelyyy perfectly." I saw a Beatles poster, a picture of my grandfather, my sister, my friends, and Jesus. And as I remember where I've been and who I've left pieces of myself with, I feel content.

I think I'm attracted to positivity. I think we all are- but sometimes feel guilty about it. But because of that, I almost want more of it - to be freakishly optimistic is, admittedly, a strange goal I have in sight.
And so, I can only hope that these external factors really do help my perspective. I think that sometimes I feel them in the things i do and the ways i react. And that - well, that makes me happy.

And happiness is certainly a step in the right direction, after all.

Blogging

I think I want to start again.

Because yesterday, while drinking the most delicious chocolate mousse frappe I've ever tasted. And every time I go up there, whether to drink, explore or play, I'm always inspired. I really should go more often.

I decided that it's about time I start doing the things I want to do and being who I always thought I would be.

Ever thought of that? Just being who you want to be? Just start.

That's what I'm going to try doing.

And I will accomplish it by doing the following things:

Eating less
Running more
Disconnecting more frequently from technology
Reading books I like
Finding my spirituality
Spending time with people I Love
Taking care of myself and others
Loving
Getting rid of so much of the "stuff" I own
Working hard (increasing work ethic)
Redefining, and strengthening personal values

Ah, summer resolutions. They always seem to work out better for me than the January kind.

Not a Deep Dark Secret Anymore

Have you ever thought about what you would do with your life if EVERY option were available, regardless of time, talent, education or money?

I have.

Do you know what I would choose to do?

I would make music videos.

Not sleezy semi-pornographic videos, no no.

Neat ones:

Why? Because they're beautiful and creative and fun. And I want to make things that are beautiful, and sometimes I feel like I'm creative and it would be fun to do.

Will I ever do it?

Probably yes.

 I think I might even make one like this for kicks:

This Is A Great Exercise.

I actually got so much from this.

"We always focus on what we lack. And we put so much time worrying about the things we do not have. Sometimes, even just the little things.. How we can speak, listen and see.. Our 2 hands and our feet. We should be happy for even just that..." said by my guidance counselor.

It's true. In fact, lately, I have been sulking so much and almost losing my mind due to all the negativity that it has been driving me pretty insane for the past few days. In which, of course, answered to my zero energy.

So instead of continuing that way, because God knows it gives me zero productivity and more chances of hating myself, my guidance counselor proposed that I write down on a piece of clean A4 paper the things that I am grateful for. With both sides of the paper filled.
I decided to also share it out to all of you out there so that you can give me a friendly reminder if ever I bring myself down again. Also, who knows. It might inspire you to do the same as well ;)

Enough said, so here goes (in no particular order):

  • I am grateful for being alive
  • I am grateful for my mom
  • I am grateful for my dad
  • I am grateful for my brother
  • I am grateful for my sister
  • I am grateful for my grandma
  • I am grateful for the house that I live in
  • I am grateful for my aunt and cousins I am with
  • I am grateful for my clingy/crazy friends
  • I am grateful for my boyfriend
  • I am grateful for my arms and legs to commute around with
  • I am grateful for being able to see, listen and express (Goddess of Mercy)
  • I am grateful to my God for always protecting me 
  • I am grateful to Mariela Beautie
  • I am grateful to Kristine Cinco
  • I am grateful for my years in Miriam College
  • I am grateful to my high school friends
  • I am grateful for my cats
  • I am grateful for my outlook
  • I am grateful for being able to smile
  • I am grateful for being right-handed
  • I am grateful for my health
  • I am grateful for all my talents
  • I am grateful for being 19 ;)
  • I am grateful for being smart, and at times creative
  • I am grateful for the love I get from people around me
  • I am grateful to the people that i have encountered with
  • I am grateful for the opportunity to make life better
  • I am grateful for the clean water I drink
  • I am grateful for the food that I can enjoy
  • I am grateful that the world is still intact, and to all the efforts put in to make this place a better place to live in
  • I am grateful for being ME.

     Without which, I will never become who I am right now. So Thank YOU!

    As I was listing down each and every one of them, I have so many things to be thankful for. And so many things that i already have. I truly got to know myself even better, and relive the things that I cherish most in life.

    I know that what I have is a privilege and I am truly a blessed one.

    My dears, I urge you to do the same. Start with an empty piece of paper and write down the things that you are grateful for. I believe, you won't regret ;)

    Thank you dear guidance counselor for this wonderful assignment. (I got more from typing them one by one again ;))


FESS UP (I'd rather make a fuss.)

I'd rather make a fuss about you, and them, and all the laundry that's left to do rather than fess up about what's wrong with me. I'm not talking about things like my thighs are too big, my face broke out again, and my hair has split-ends. I'm quite good at that, thank-you. I'd probably tear myself down in every imaginable direction before realizing that those things aren't even what's wrong with me.

It's not about finding myself. It's not about discovering who I am. It's not about accepting my inner being. It's not about finding peace or meditation.

This is about digging deep and opening doors that I closed. This is about opening that mystery container in the refrigerator that has been conveniently forgotten. This is the scary part where I'd rather hide, but if I know what's best for me, I won't.

And now is the time to come face to face with myself because nobody else can do this for me. Here's to changing for the better because it's what God wants, and what I want too.

Internship, Fitness and Productivity

I know, I know. It's been six months since I last posted an entry on my blog. I was just really so occupied with things in school, such as my dissertation (which btw a super big deal!), my feature-length screenplay in my Film class, issues happening in my radio production class and more. But thank you, Lord! I made it this semester and finally school is over! I am straight off an incoming senior student in college next school year. Hooray!

Moving on, it's already summer in the Philippines and many are planning to spend their vacation in another country, at the beach or in a province, but not me. I'll be expending my time, specifically 200 hours, in the company I'm working at right now. I just began yesterday and I had fun doing the tasks my supervisor assigned to me, like updating the company's website and their social media platforms, research news and other articles related to their company (Which is more about green living and technology ;)).

And since my work schedule is really flexible, I also planned to spend half of my day everyday working out! Yep, that's right... WORKING OUT! My goal this month is to lose more fat, retain my body toned, and have that bikini body when it's time to go to the beach! After all the work in the office, I'm sure I still want to show off my torso (just hoping that my school won't give me a violation. Bahaha!)

I'm so glad I found a way to make this summer productive! Yay!

I promise to keep this blog updated from now on :))) just keep in touch. I have go, time to go to work ;)

Xoxo.