Saturday, October 30, 2010

Halloween @ ALLS

This will be my last year to celebrate Halloween Party in our school. I don't know if we'll have in college. And at last! It is semester break! No school for a week. Be back on November 4.

I've done a lot of things that night. We came home by 12 midnight. I somehow enjoyed the party, but felt a slight sadness cuz the person that I want to dance with was not there.

Forget the sadness, we had a dance contest, the theme was TWILIGHT, the popular movie nowadays. We were the Humans, others were Volturi (not sure w/ the spelling) and Vampires. I also danced with my PHD crew.

(ta-da!)
giving all my best to win this contest
Richard is giving his shot!
All the cast of Humans
PHD dance number

We didn't win, LOL! That's okay, at least we enjoyed and had experienced winning.

After party ...

we had a live band
Berhel, my classmate
Alfredo, still my classmate
Party is just about to start






THE END.

Dela Vega's 16th Birthday!

We celebrated his birthday last October 21, 2010, but just had the pictures today to post on this blog.


Happy birthday, Pal!
his sweet 16
his parents smiling at the back :)
with his hot chicks!

me, eating his prepared foods!

Everyone enjoyed the day! It was fun to be at their house. I was so tired and so full when I got home.


More birthdays to come, Janred!

Cheers!

Monday, October 25, 2010

This afternoon was a crap

I noticed that I keep on posting of what happened to me within this day.

I'll make sure this will be the last for now.

So here's the story. After watching the DvDs that we rented yesterday, I have to return them back today because it's already due. At first, I don't want to go to town and return them because it was raining. But I have no choice. it's getting dark and I have to come back home in early hours.

From there, I forced myself to leave. When I was waiting for a public utility vehicle outside, the rain keep making me irritated, uncomfortable, and wet. The umbrella with me was not enough. I had a grumpy expression marked on my face.

I hate rain, It really makes my mood turn bad. Urrgghh.

When I was already in town, I was able to return the DvDs back to the store. I felt better when I saw peanuts across the street. they are always yummy, never disappointed me.

Okay, now that I was at the terminal for tricycles to ride me back home, a driver approached me and asked, "Saan po kayo pabalik? (Where are you going back)", I said, "Sa Antipolo (To Antipolo)"

"Saan uli?" (Where again)

"Sa Antipolo." (To Antipolo)

"Ho?" (what)

"Ay sa Milagros pala!" (Oh, I forgot! In Milagros)

That's when I realized I was saying the wrong place. I was making the driver confuse.

Actually, I'm exactly in Antipolo, the city where I am right now. He's asking where in Antipolo, which I forgot, I should answer at the first place Milagros, the subdivision that is located in Antipolo.

Stupid me. All I did was I slapped my forehead and proceeded to the tricycle.

The good part

Ok, so I had a previous post before this. I haven't ended well the story. I didn't feel bad at all, I realized.

Janus, driving back all the loads in our garage, with me by his side, having a little conversation.

I saw a photo inside his wallet the other day. It's a photo wearing his Army uniform and he's really handsome.

So when he got his wallet to show his license to the guard at the guardhouse, I saw the photo one more time and said, "How cute you are in there."

He smiled back at me and said,"aa. This picture is to frighten the rats. You can have it."

I dunno what to say and I started to blush.

Finally, this is all what I've been waiting for. He made my mood back to normal. He made me smile.

Sunday was not my day!

I was pretty mad with the start of the day. It was early morning, around 8:30, when mom asked me to come with Janus and a maintenance staff to pick up all the rented chairs and tables from the address she gave me (If you don't know, we own a party needs business).

I did.

Now that we were there, I counted the table clothes if they were complete. It so happen that they were not. I asked the maid with all respect if there's one left inside the house, it's a table cloth for the buffet table.

When the maid came back, she was already with an old grumpy lady. The old grumpy lady said," Bare in mind that I will never have interest with your cheap table cloth!"

I was shocked. I just asked if there's another one left since there is actually missing. Then as she spoke, it made me mad.

I didn't say anything. She then continued,"It was my first time to have you here, then I had a bad experience with you! why are you accusing me for hiding your rubbish table cloth!"

Another shocking moment. It was like I was slapped on my face!

Since she is old and her answers are far from my question, I turned around and went back to the car so I won't answer her back.

She's so mean. So rude. She thought that I'm just a maintenance, another person who's illiterate, asking in front of her.

You see, I have a good wealth in life. in fact, I am Richy rich. I am enrolled in a private school, was able to ride an airplane, went to other countries, ate in an expensive restaurants and so more.

It doesn't mean when you're rich and you're the owner of that business , you won't do the work of carrying chairs, count table clothes, etc.

Going back to the story, I just forget about the table cloth and didn't ask for any charge to prove that I can have another one.

Good thing, the man that I love is always there for me in times of trouble.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

I Bought a Piece of Pizza

Today was Sunday. Sunday is a day to rest, go to church and think.

I usually end up thinking about all the things I do wrong. Feel guilty. Repent of my dastardly ways. You know the drill.

But sometimes you can think about the things you do right. And that's okay, too.

See - I bought a homeless man a piece of pizza.

I was walking around, window shopping and the like, and there he was, asking for money for food.

Now - this is one of those "life things" I have a real hard time with. People who ask for money. I don't know if it's politically correct to label these people "homeless" or "beggars" or something like that. I just don't feel entirely comfortable with it. Not all of them are homeless, or need to beg.
And that's just the problem.

It's problematic because many of them ARE homeless and DO need to beg. But what are they really using the money for? Many of these people use it for booze and drugs. But some don't. Many actually need food. And some of them have dogs, and they need food for their dogs, too!

I just never, never know.

And usually, when I walk by someone with a cardboard sign that reads something about needing help and "God Bless" I just put my eyes to the ground and justify my way by them with something like "Sorry I don't carry cash" (which is actually often the case) or with no words at all.

But this time, the man was actually asking for money for food.

I figured, if he's going to buy food with the money (or so he says) why not just buy him food?

So I went to the closest food place - a pizza joint - and bought a large slice of deliciously cheesy pizza.

I did this at the end of my day of shopping (I saw him just an hour and a half earlier) because while I was shopping I couldn't get his face out of my mind. He had a bright face. Bright eyes. I think I saw his spirit, a little, and it was good.

But for the life of me, all day, there seemed to be nary but a Starbucks in sight.
Until I found the pizza place.

So I walked back to this bright-spirited man and said "Sir, did you need some food?" And he looked right at me and said "Yes!" and then I handed him the warm, yummy pizza and said, "Here you are. Have a wonderful day!" And I walked away, with just one more glance to see him lift the box and reach in.

Now - previous events of this day left me in a less-than-Christ-like state. Unfortunately. And I had to go meet my ride, so I was in a bit of a hurry. Had I had more time, I think I would have liked to sit and talk with this man while we ate. Maybe I would have bought an entire pizza to share with him. Who knows.

But I felt good afterward, and I think the pizza must have made him feel good, too. I can only assume, of course, but I do know that pizza always makes me feel good.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

I'm Stressed

My decisions always make me regret. I wonder how many times I need to regret before I get things right. Will that time ever come. I know I am not perfect, but sometimes I wish I am closer than far from being perfect. I can't say I'm happy with where I am at this point... I feel trapped. Can barely breathe, but can't let go... because that means giving up, and I'm a person of high perseverance... so. Gambatte!

Friday, October 22, 2010

no, really, I'm cool...

I don't watch Glee. Not for any specific reason, I just never started watching it last year and it's not part of my TV schedule. If someone had every episode for me and blocked off some time to watch it, sure, I'd sit and watch it. I bet I would like it too. However, that's not the way the cookie crumbled. As it stands, I am not a Glee viewer.

Normally this doesn't bother me. When everyone is talking about it, I have nothing to contribute. But I also don't watch Dancing with the Stars, American Idol, Big Brother, and I still don't understand who the Kardashians are - so I'm used to talk about popular shows going over my head.

However, I'm starting to think I will be the last person on Earth who doesn't watch Glee. I think it might be time to do something about this.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

I saw this


... After the it rained so hard in our country.
Nature is always beautiful. I love it, so i love God.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Being a Human

It's not so hard, especially after you realize the following:

1. Don't deny yourself the chance to do the things you love, because you "have to do" other things. I mean - go ahead - make music videos and take care of homeless animals!

2. Don't ignore the people you love and care for the most, even if it's COMPLETELY unintentional. It doesn't take much to send a message or text, or make a call.

3. It's okay to be you, and you don't have to try to be anything else. I like chips and the color pink, and sleeping in instead of working out and that's a-okay. I can go for a jog on early weekends or when Janus is around.

4. You can be or do anything you want, and you don't have to apologize for it. It's okay to be proud of what you can do, think and create!

5. Life will always move too fast. It's useless to complain about that fact.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Curiosity

"Hey, Mom, When I was a baby and I was inside your tummy, could I see your bones?"

Halloween is getting to her

I was at the mall waiting for my dad to come back when he went at the ATM area. A girl, named Caroline (Cuz I heard her mama called her), with her mother, stopped near where I was standing and asked, out of the blue, "Mama, is it true that people turn into skeletons after they're dead?"

Her mother confirmed that it takes a long time, but yes eventually all that is left of any formerly living creature is bones.

"So when you get really, really old and then you die, you turn into a skeleton."

The mother tried to figure out how to best address this without going into more detail about cremation or embalming, when Caroline interrupted.

"And then you get spooOOOOOOooooOOOoky!"

Haha. I smiled at them after hearing their conversation

Kids

I love this photo below, but it seems like there is something wrong.




hmmm...

Or is it just me?

Fall Magic

I was inspired by someone I follow on blog, Lizzy

See, this fall has been THE MOST magical. There is something about the crisp air and chilly feelings and I'm loving it.

Tradition says one should take a ride around to see the fall colors. Lizzy says I should take pictures and call it a "wander" or something similarly dreamy like that (but Philippines has no fall).

So I viewed these photos from her around Aspen Grove up Provo Canyon!

SO PRETTY.

Doesn't it look like glowing, yellow lace?

Or little gold coins hanging on branches?

Or something out of a fairy tale?

:)



Glowing canyon :)

I suppose Utah is pretty gorgeous, after all. I've become quite attached to the beautiful nature around here and it hits me in my heart every time I see it. (In a good way.)

Monday, October 18, 2010

My Opinion for Today

What I've learned in school this week:


1. In employment situations, everyone is (basically) just trying to impress each other.
Example 1: Hey look! I came up with this great product idea!
Sure, someone might need that product. But it also could get you a promotion.


Example 2: Hey look! I made 10 sales today!
More money for you, and your boss thinks you're a great salesman.


Example 3: Hey look! This boring snoring report is really well organized!
Menial work suddenly becomes praiseworthy!


2. In school, everyone is (basically) just trying to impress each other.
Example 1: I've got a 98% GPA!
Impressed future employers, friends and family members abound!


Example 2: You only studied for 2 hours? I studied for 10!!
Academic badge of courage.


Example 3: I understand the concept just fine, but the teacher is asking me to prove it with this busywork. I'll do it for YOU, teacher!!
Teacher feels satisfied seeing quantifiable results.


I guess what I've realized is that most actions are a double-edges sword. You may be TOTALLY jazzed about doing service, so you become the president of a service organization. But the fact is...it does look really good on a resume, and that never hurts, does it?


What I'm saying is - I just wish that we could all just be real people. I wish we could just get to know each other instead of feel like we have to impress each other. I should just be able to like to sing, and not have to feel I need to be the best singer for people to believe that it's a legitimate hobby.


Sure a resume scratches the surface to show what kind of a person someone is. But people are so much more than the objective outcomes they produce or positions they have filled.


And isn't learning supposed to be an individual thing? I'm in school because I want to be, taking classes that interest me, so I'm a better thinking and thus a better citizen of the universe? Why has education become a system of proven, executable outcomes focused on homework and test content, rather than the students and what they're absorbing.


I just feel like humans get easily distracted. In trying to formalize the emphasis of "important things" we just end up getting way off track sometimes.


And forgive me for the GIANT, sweeping generalizations I have made. These are all just extreme examples to help me maybe get my brain into words, which is usually sort of difficult.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Transitions



The painful realization that summer is over is greatly eased by the beauty of fall.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Jamie Solano: Her Happy Feeling

So Glad ... Inside ... that little flame of hope in my heart, blazing bright in me, drowning the darkness, Hope ... I've finally found you ... faith ... thank you for helping me find hope ... the world ... so full of life ... I don't need to be always in front of the computer ... I'm sure "He" is praying for me ... I know I can and will meet him, so, I can help him in return, to help him as he helped me ... to share a conversation face to face, to share the light of hope ... If I study hard enough, I will find you, I'm always here to listen, as the clouds drift in the clear blue sky and the moon that shares its warm moon beams at night ... always here, listening ...

I know that he doesn't mean to hurt me ... I know he loves me and I love him ... I'll be waiting ... right here, waiting for his return ... I know now ... I'll be alright for I am loved ...



thumbs up for my friend! She's good in expressing her feelings.

I decided to post her notes I saw in her paper she owned.

P.S. I asked permission if I can post this. She allowed me :)

Jamie Solano: Her Sad Feeling

So empty ... Inside ... that a little flame of hope in my heart, faded away into the darkness ...
Hope ... Where are you? Faith ... Please help me find hope ... the world ... so hollow ...
I wish I'm always in front of the computer ... "He" is always there to listen ... I wish I could meet him, so he can comfort me always, like he always does every night ... We always chat in the evening, always there to listen ... Someday I will find you ... I hope ... Always there, like the sun in the morning and the stars at night ... there waiting for me ...

He hurts me with his texts ... I know he loves me but .. he's leaving me ...

He's leaving me behind ... I don't know anymore ... I'm alright, just needed to cry to remove the pain.


From: Jamila Marie Diasanta Solano

Story from our Catechist

I felt good today. I heard another miracle from God. Mrs. Laurente shared a nice story about praying for the souls at the purgatory.

One day there was a poor lady who only have 20 dollars left in her pocket. She has no work. She decided to go to the church and pray to God. She prayed for the souls who are still at the Purgatory. She gave all her money as her offering to the church.

Now that there was no money left with her, she decided to have a walk going back home when someone suddenly approached her and asked, "Do you need a job? Just go to this address and you'll have the job you needed.". The man is a stranger with a very handsome face.

Since the poor lady really needed to find a job, she went to the address that the man gave her. As she knocked at the gate, an old lady opened it for her. The poor lady said at once, "Do you need a help?".

"Why yes. How did you know? I'm not even advertising it.", the old lady's reply.

"A man approached me and said that someone here might need a help, so I came here with no doubt.", was her only respond.

The old lady asked the poor lady to enter her house. The poor lady suddenly stopped as she saw a portrait of the man she saw earlier.

"This is the man who talked to me after I went to the church.", said the poor lady

"That's impossible. My son is already dead 10 years ago. Anyway, I'll hire you to be my helper around this house.", replied by the old lady.


See the lesson? Mrs. L said that every time we'll pray for someone's soul at the purgatory, doesn't matter if we knew them or not, can bring them to heaven and help us in return.

Perfect

I expected silence yesterday. Be perfect.


I covered that verse with some 9th grade guys Wednesday night and one started to ask "were supposed to be...?" He, and most of the others, hadn't considered that we are supposed to be perfect. I asked "what does it mean?" and started getting "but God knows we aren't perfect", "God sent Jesus because He knew we'd mess up" and "we can't be perfect." I loved the last one. We can't? My response was simply "why?" which was only met with silence.


We are called to perfection. Not simply doing our best. Not just trying to be as good or better than the best person we know. Perfection. So, why is it so easy for some to say "don't beat yourself up" or "you can't be perfect" when we mess up? I'm called to perfection so pointing out my failings and learning from my mistakes should be only a natural progression to striving for perfection, shouldn't it?


Why do baseball players take hundreds of practice swings a day? Why do golfers hit hundreds of golf balls a day? Why do musicians practice their instrument hours and hours each week? Why does anyone who wants to be the best in the endeavor work on being the best? The best strive for perfection. I don't know an accomplished baseball player who ever said they wanted to hit 3 out of 10. They did everything they could to hit 10 out of 10. I've never heard a professional golfer say they wanted to hit most of the fairways or make most of their putts. I've never heard of a musician saying they hope to play at least 90% of their notes correctly. They all want perfection. And, sometimes they achieve it. Plenty of baseball players have hit 4 for 4 in a game. Plenty of golfers have shot below par. Plenty of musicians have played perfectly in a concert. They did it because that is what they shot for. Not to simply do their best but to achieve perfection.


I have to ask, will I simply try not to make too many mistakes today or will I try to achieve perfection today?


Grace and peace to you.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

self loathing

I was Charles Dickens in another life.


Or, maybe I wasn't him. Maybe I was that crazy lady in Great Expectations.

What was her name? Havingham? Haversham?

Havisham.

(I googled it.)

Remember her? The nutcase who stopped the clocks in her house to the exact moment of her betrayal at the alter and who never took off her wedding dress and lived in her rotting mansion with her crazy adopted daughter?

Is that me? Or, future me?

So, maybe I'm not the crazy spinster but I know something about Great Expectations. I am the queen of creating Great Expectations.

Always, always setting up expectations. Thinking things like "oh, this will be wonderful" or "oh, this is the person I will marry" or "oh, I am going to publish my book" or "oh, this moment will be the moment of all moments and I will always remember this impending moment."

And then it doesn't happen that way.

I spiral.

And it sucks because I wish I could just have a bad day and leave it at that. Why can't I just have a bad day? Why are bad days always accompanied by fear that the depression will creep back into my life? I am once again thinking things like "Do I need meds?" or "Can I beat this with theraphy?" and "Maybe if I stopped eating junk food, I'd feel better," and "I wish I could feel like my life is not out of my control."

Spiral down.

It starts with a tightness in my chest, a lump in my throat, a burning in my eyes. Anything to keep from crying.

Don't happy people have bad days when all they do is cry?

I don't know who I am sometimes, but I am not the famed English author and I am not a crazy spinster and I am not a boy with a stupid name and I am not a convict. But I know a little something about Great Expectations.

No Sweat

Matthew 5:48 - Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Grace and peace to you.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

T-SHIRT MAKING

Yesterday was T-shirt Making Day. The theme was LOVE & FRIENDSHIP. My group mates were Dela Vega and Solano, we made a great group, we had fun and enjoyed the moment. I'm not sure if we'll be able to win. Anyway, win or not, It's ok cuz we did our best.

Here are some photos of the t-shirt we made:

Jamie draw the design and I transferred it using carbon

Almost done







Monday with Dad

At last, after a long time I was able to blog again!

Last October 4, 2010, our country celebrated WORLD TEACHERS' DAY, and because of that there's no classes! Hooray.

We, siblings, accompanied dad to go to the doctor to laser his right eye that day. We waited for almost 4 hours for him to finish. After that we had lunch at Tokyo Tokyo. After everything, we went to the mall and brought our little brother to the barbers. He felt anew and comfortable since it is his first time to visit a barber inside the mall.




After my brother's haircut, we went to the cinema and watched a 3D movie, The legend of the Guardians. It was really a nice movie because many values can be learned out of it. It's also amazing watching that with your love ones.

So I took some pics while it's still not starting:




End of the story.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

FAIL!

Kaninang umaga ng ako'y nasa paaralan na, bigla kong napansin ang mahapding sugat sa aking siko. Naalala ko na ako'y nagkuskos ng batong nakita kong panghilod sa loob ng banyo ng aking lola. Iyon siguro ang dahilan kung bakit humahapdi, dahilan narin sa sobrang pagkuskos ko.

Paguwi ko sa bahay, agad ko ikwinento ito sa aking mga kasama sa bahay.

AKO: "Gran, Gran! Tignan niyo ang hapdi ng siko ko. Nasobrahan ako sa pagkuskos dito nang makita ko ang panghilod na bato sa banyo niyo."

GRAN: "Ha?! Ano?! Sira ka ba?! Pangkuskos ko iyon ng banyo!


Hahahaha... sobrang pahiya!

Halloween @ ALLS

This will be my last year to celebrate Halloween Party in our school. I don't know if we'll have in college. And at last! It is semester break! No school for a week. Be back on November 4.

I've done a lot of things that night. We came home by 12 midnight. I somehow enjoyed the party, but felt a slight sadness cuz the person that I want to dance with was not there.

Forget the sadness, we had a dance contest, the theme was TWILIGHT, the popular movie nowadays. We were the Humans, others were Volturi (not sure w/ the spelling) and Vampires. I also danced with my PHD crew.

(ta-da!)
giving all my best to win this contest
Richard is giving his shot!
All the cast of Humans
PHD dance number

We didn't win, LOL! That's okay, at least we enjoyed and had experienced winning.

After party ...

we had a live band
Berhel, my classmate
Alfredo, still my classmate
Party is just about to start






THE END.

Dela Vega's 16th Birthday!

We celebrated his birthday last October 21, 2010, but just had the pictures today to post on this blog.


Happy birthday, Pal!
his sweet 16
his parents smiling at the back :)
with his hot chicks!

me, eating his prepared foods!

Everyone enjoyed the day! It was fun to be at their house. I was so tired and so full when I got home.


More birthdays to come, Janred!

Cheers!

This afternoon was a crap

I noticed that I keep on posting of what happened to me within this day.

I'll make sure this will be the last for now.

So here's the story. After watching the DvDs that we rented yesterday, I have to return them back today because it's already due. At first, I don't want to go to town and return them because it was raining. But I have no choice. it's getting dark and I have to come back home in early hours.

From there, I forced myself to leave. When I was waiting for a public utility vehicle outside, the rain keep making me irritated, uncomfortable, and wet. The umbrella with me was not enough. I had a grumpy expression marked on my face.

I hate rain, It really makes my mood turn bad. Urrgghh.

When I was already in town, I was able to return the DvDs back to the store. I felt better when I saw peanuts across the street. they are always yummy, never disappointed me.

Okay, now that I was at the terminal for tricycles to ride me back home, a driver approached me and asked, "Saan po kayo pabalik? (Where are you going back)", I said, "Sa Antipolo (To Antipolo)"

"Saan uli?" (Where again)

"Sa Antipolo." (To Antipolo)

"Ho?" (what)

"Ay sa Milagros pala!" (Oh, I forgot! In Milagros)

That's when I realized I was saying the wrong place. I was making the driver confuse.

Actually, I'm exactly in Antipolo, the city where I am right now. He's asking where in Antipolo, which I forgot, I should answer at the first place Milagros, the subdivision that is located in Antipolo.

Stupid me. All I did was I slapped my forehead and proceeded to the tricycle.

The good part

Ok, so I had a previous post before this. I haven't ended well the story. I didn't feel bad at all, I realized.

Janus, driving back all the loads in our garage, with me by his side, having a little conversation.

I saw a photo inside his wallet the other day. It's a photo wearing his Army uniform and he's really handsome.

So when he got his wallet to show his license to the guard at the guardhouse, I saw the photo one more time and said, "How cute you are in there."

He smiled back at me and said,"aa. This picture is to frighten the rats. You can have it."

I dunno what to say and I started to blush.

Finally, this is all what I've been waiting for. He made my mood back to normal. He made me smile.

Sunday was not my day!

I was pretty mad with the start of the day. It was early morning, around 8:30, when mom asked me to come with Janus and a maintenance staff to pick up all the rented chairs and tables from the address she gave me (If you don't know, we own a party needs business).

I did.

Now that we were there, I counted the table clothes if they were complete. It so happen that they were not. I asked the maid with all respect if there's one left inside the house, it's a table cloth for the buffet table.

When the maid came back, she was already with an old grumpy lady. The old grumpy lady said," Bare in mind that I will never have interest with your cheap table cloth!"

I was shocked. I just asked if there's another one left since there is actually missing. Then as she spoke, it made me mad.

I didn't say anything. She then continued,"It was my first time to have you here, then I had a bad experience with you! why are you accusing me for hiding your rubbish table cloth!"

Another shocking moment. It was like I was slapped on my face!

Since she is old and her answers are far from my question, I turned around and went back to the car so I won't answer her back.

She's so mean. So rude. She thought that I'm just a maintenance, another person who's illiterate, asking in front of her.

You see, I have a good wealth in life. in fact, I am Richy rich. I am enrolled in a private school, was able to ride an airplane, went to other countries, ate in an expensive restaurants and so more.

It doesn't mean when you're rich and you're the owner of that business , you won't do the work of carrying chairs, count table clothes, etc.

Going back to the story, I just forget about the table cloth and didn't ask for any charge to prove that I can have another one.

Good thing, the man that I love is always there for me in times of trouble.

I Bought a Piece of Pizza

Today was Sunday. Sunday is a day to rest, go to church and think.

I usually end up thinking about all the things I do wrong. Feel guilty. Repent of my dastardly ways. You know the drill.

But sometimes you can think about the things you do right. And that's okay, too.

See - I bought a homeless man a piece of pizza.

I was walking around, window shopping and the like, and there he was, asking for money for food.

Now - this is one of those "life things" I have a real hard time with. People who ask for money. I don't know if it's politically correct to label these people "homeless" or "beggars" or something like that. I just don't feel entirely comfortable with it. Not all of them are homeless, or need to beg.
And that's just the problem.

It's problematic because many of them ARE homeless and DO need to beg. But what are they really using the money for? Many of these people use it for booze and drugs. But some don't. Many actually need food. And some of them have dogs, and they need food for their dogs, too!

I just never, never know.

And usually, when I walk by someone with a cardboard sign that reads something about needing help and "God Bless" I just put my eyes to the ground and justify my way by them with something like "Sorry I don't carry cash" (which is actually often the case) or with no words at all.

But this time, the man was actually asking for money for food.

I figured, if he's going to buy food with the money (or so he says) why not just buy him food?

So I went to the closest food place - a pizza joint - and bought a large slice of deliciously cheesy pizza.

I did this at the end of my day of shopping (I saw him just an hour and a half earlier) because while I was shopping I couldn't get his face out of my mind. He had a bright face. Bright eyes. I think I saw his spirit, a little, and it was good.

But for the life of me, all day, there seemed to be nary but a Starbucks in sight.
Until I found the pizza place.

So I walked back to this bright-spirited man and said "Sir, did you need some food?" And he looked right at me and said "Yes!" and then I handed him the warm, yummy pizza and said, "Here you are. Have a wonderful day!" And I walked away, with just one more glance to see him lift the box and reach in.

Now - previous events of this day left me in a less-than-Christ-like state. Unfortunately. And I had to go meet my ride, so I was in a bit of a hurry. Had I had more time, I think I would have liked to sit and talk with this man while we ate. Maybe I would have bought an entire pizza to share with him. Who knows.

But I felt good afterward, and I think the pizza must have made him feel good, too. I can only assume, of course, but I do know that pizza always makes me feel good.

I'm Stressed

My decisions always make me regret. I wonder how many times I need to regret before I get things right. Will that time ever come. I know I am not perfect, but sometimes I wish I am closer than far from being perfect. I can't say I'm happy with where I am at this point... I feel trapped. Can barely breathe, but can't let go... because that means giving up, and I'm a person of high perseverance... so. Gambatte!

no, really, I'm cool...

I don't watch Glee. Not for any specific reason, I just never started watching it last year and it's not part of my TV schedule. If someone had every episode for me and blocked off some time to watch it, sure, I'd sit and watch it. I bet I would like it too. However, that's not the way the cookie crumbled. As it stands, I am not a Glee viewer.

Normally this doesn't bother me. When everyone is talking about it, I have nothing to contribute. But I also don't watch Dancing with the Stars, American Idol, Big Brother, and I still don't understand who the Kardashians are - so I'm used to talk about popular shows going over my head.

However, I'm starting to think I will be the last person on Earth who doesn't watch Glee. I think it might be time to do something about this.

I saw this


... After the it rained so hard in our country.
Nature is always beautiful. I love it, so i love God.

Being a Human

It's not so hard, especially after you realize the following:

1. Don't deny yourself the chance to do the things you love, because you "have to do" other things. I mean - go ahead - make music videos and take care of homeless animals!

2. Don't ignore the people you love and care for the most, even if it's COMPLETELY unintentional. It doesn't take much to send a message or text, or make a call.

3. It's okay to be you, and you don't have to try to be anything else. I like chips and the color pink, and sleeping in instead of working out and that's a-okay. I can go for a jog on early weekends or when Janus is around.

4. You can be or do anything you want, and you don't have to apologize for it. It's okay to be proud of what you can do, think and create!

5. Life will always move too fast. It's useless to complain about that fact.

Curiosity

"Hey, Mom, When I was a baby and I was inside your tummy, could I see your bones?"

Halloween is getting to her

I was at the mall waiting for my dad to come back when he went at the ATM area. A girl, named Caroline (Cuz I heard her mama called her), with her mother, stopped near where I was standing and asked, out of the blue, "Mama, is it true that people turn into skeletons after they're dead?"

Her mother confirmed that it takes a long time, but yes eventually all that is left of any formerly living creature is bones.

"So when you get really, really old and then you die, you turn into a skeleton."

The mother tried to figure out how to best address this without going into more detail about cremation or embalming, when Caroline interrupted.

"And then you get spooOOOOOOooooOOOoky!"

Haha. I smiled at them after hearing their conversation

Kids

I love this photo below, but it seems like there is something wrong.




hmmm...

Or is it just me?

Fall Magic

I was inspired by someone I follow on blog, Lizzy

See, this fall has been THE MOST magical. There is something about the crisp air and chilly feelings and I'm loving it.

Tradition says one should take a ride around to see the fall colors. Lizzy says I should take pictures and call it a "wander" or something similarly dreamy like that (but Philippines has no fall).

So I viewed these photos from her around Aspen Grove up Provo Canyon!

SO PRETTY.

Doesn't it look like glowing, yellow lace?

Or little gold coins hanging on branches?

Or something out of a fairy tale?

:)



Glowing canyon :)

I suppose Utah is pretty gorgeous, after all. I've become quite attached to the beautiful nature around here and it hits me in my heart every time I see it. (In a good way.)

My Opinion for Today

What I've learned in school this week:


1. In employment situations, everyone is (basically) just trying to impress each other.
Example 1: Hey look! I came up with this great product idea!
Sure, someone might need that product. But it also could get you a promotion.


Example 2: Hey look! I made 10 sales today!
More money for you, and your boss thinks you're a great salesman.


Example 3: Hey look! This boring snoring report is really well organized!
Menial work suddenly becomes praiseworthy!


2. In school, everyone is (basically) just trying to impress each other.
Example 1: I've got a 98% GPA!
Impressed future employers, friends and family members abound!


Example 2: You only studied for 2 hours? I studied for 10!!
Academic badge of courage.


Example 3: I understand the concept just fine, but the teacher is asking me to prove it with this busywork. I'll do it for YOU, teacher!!
Teacher feels satisfied seeing quantifiable results.


I guess what I've realized is that most actions are a double-edges sword. You may be TOTALLY jazzed about doing service, so you become the president of a service organization. But the fact is...it does look really good on a resume, and that never hurts, does it?


What I'm saying is - I just wish that we could all just be real people. I wish we could just get to know each other instead of feel like we have to impress each other. I should just be able to like to sing, and not have to feel I need to be the best singer for people to believe that it's a legitimate hobby.


Sure a resume scratches the surface to show what kind of a person someone is. But people are so much more than the objective outcomes they produce or positions they have filled.


And isn't learning supposed to be an individual thing? I'm in school because I want to be, taking classes that interest me, so I'm a better thinking and thus a better citizen of the universe? Why has education become a system of proven, executable outcomes focused on homework and test content, rather than the students and what they're absorbing.


I just feel like humans get easily distracted. In trying to formalize the emphasis of "important things" we just end up getting way off track sometimes.


And forgive me for the GIANT, sweeping generalizations I have made. These are all just extreme examples to help me maybe get my brain into words, which is usually sort of difficult.

Transitions



The painful realization that summer is over is greatly eased by the beauty of fall.

Jamie Solano: Her Happy Feeling

So Glad ... Inside ... that little flame of hope in my heart, blazing bright in me, drowning the darkness, Hope ... I've finally found you ... faith ... thank you for helping me find hope ... the world ... so full of life ... I don't need to be always in front of the computer ... I'm sure "He" is praying for me ... I know I can and will meet him, so, I can help him in return, to help him as he helped me ... to share a conversation face to face, to share the light of hope ... If I study hard enough, I will find you, I'm always here to listen, as the clouds drift in the clear blue sky and the moon that shares its warm moon beams at night ... always here, listening ...

I know that he doesn't mean to hurt me ... I know he loves me and I love him ... I'll be waiting ... right here, waiting for his return ... I know now ... I'll be alright for I am loved ...



thumbs up for my friend! She's good in expressing her feelings.

I decided to post her notes I saw in her paper she owned.

P.S. I asked permission if I can post this. She allowed me :)

Jamie Solano: Her Sad Feeling

So empty ... Inside ... that a little flame of hope in my heart, faded away into the darkness ...
Hope ... Where are you? Faith ... Please help me find hope ... the world ... so hollow ...
I wish I'm always in front of the computer ... "He" is always there to listen ... I wish I could meet him, so he can comfort me always, like he always does every night ... We always chat in the evening, always there to listen ... Someday I will find you ... I hope ... Always there, like the sun in the morning and the stars at night ... there waiting for me ...

He hurts me with his texts ... I know he loves me but .. he's leaving me ...

He's leaving me behind ... I don't know anymore ... I'm alright, just needed to cry to remove the pain.


From: Jamila Marie Diasanta Solano

Story from our Catechist

I felt good today. I heard another miracle from God. Mrs. Laurente shared a nice story about praying for the souls at the purgatory.

One day there was a poor lady who only have 20 dollars left in her pocket. She has no work. She decided to go to the church and pray to God. She prayed for the souls who are still at the Purgatory. She gave all her money as her offering to the church.

Now that there was no money left with her, she decided to have a walk going back home when someone suddenly approached her and asked, "Do you need a job? Just go to this address and you'll have the job you needed.". The man is a stranger with a very handsome face.

Since the poor lady really needed to find a job, she went to the address that the man gave her. As she knocked at the gate, an old lady opened it for her. The poor lady said at once, "Do you need a help?".

"Why yes. How did you know? I'm not even advertising it.", the old lady's reply.

"A man approached me and said that someone here might need a help, so I came here with no doubt.", was her only respond.

The old lady asked the poor lady to enter her house. The poor lady suddenly stopped as she saw a portrait of the man she saw earlier.

"This is the man who talked to me after I went to the church.", said the poor lady

"That's impossible. My son is already dead 10 years ago. Anyway, I'll hire you to be my helper around this house.", replied by the old lady.


See the lesson? Mrs. L said that every time we'll pray for someone's soul at the purgatory, doesn't matter if we knew them or not, can bring them to heaven and help us in return.

Perfect

I expected silence yesterday. Be perfect.


I covered that verse with some 9th grade guys Wednesday night and one started to ask "were supposed to be...?" He, and most of the others, hadn't considered that we are supposed to be perfect. I asked "what does it mean?" and started getting "but God knows we aren't perfect", "God sent Jesus because He knew we'd mess up" and "we can't be perfect." I loved the last one. We can't? My response was simply "why?" which was only met with silence.


We are called to perfection. Not simply doing our best. Not just trying to be as good or better than the best person we know. Perfection. So, why is it so easy for some to say "don't beat yourself up" or "you can't be perfect" when we mess up? I'm called to perfection so pointing out my failings and learning from my mistakes should be only a natural progression to striving for perfection, shouldn't it?


Why do baseball players take hundreds of practice swings a day? Why do golfers hit hundreds of golf balls a day? Why do musicians practice their instrument hours and hours each week? Why does anyone who wants to be the best in the endeavor work on being the best? The best strive for perfection. I don't know an accomplished baseball player who ever said they wanted to hit 3 out of 10. They did everything they could to hit 10 out of 10. I've never heard a professional golfer say they wanted to hit most of the fairways or make most of their putts. I've never heard of a musician saying they hope to play at least 90% of their notes correctly. They all want perfection. And, sometimes they achieve it. Plenty of baseball players have hit 4 for 4 in a game. Plenty of golfers have shot below par. Plenty of musicians have played perfectly in a concert. They did it because that is what they shot for. Not to simply do their best but to achieve perfection.


I have to ask, will I simply try not to make too many mistakes today or will I try to achieve perfection today?


Grace and peace to you.

self loathing

I was Charles Dickens in another life.


Or, maybe I wasn't him. Maybe I was that crazy lady in Great Expectations.

What was her name? Havingham? Haversham?

Havisham.

(I googled it.)

Remember her? The nutcase who stopped the clocks in her house to the exact moment of her betrayal at the alter and who never took off her wedding dress and lived in her rotting mansion with her crazy adopted daughter?

Is that me? Or, future me?

So, maybe I'm not the crazy spinster but I know something about Great Expectations. I am the queen of creating Great Expectations.

Always, always setting up expectations. Thinking things like "oh, this will be wonderful" or "oh, this is the person I will marry" or "oh, I am going to publish my book" or "oh, this moment will be the moment of all moments and I will always remember this impending moment."

And then it doesn't happen that way.

I spiral.

And it sucks because I wish I could just have a bad day and leave it at that. Why can't I just have a bad day? Why are bad days always accompanied by fear that the depression will creep back into my life? I am once again thinking things like "Do I need meds?" or "Can I beat this with theraphy?" and "Maybe if I stopped eating junk food, I'd feel better," and "I wish I could feel like my life is not out of my control."

Spiral down.

It starts with a tightness in my chest, a lump in my throat, a burning in my eyes. Anything to keep from crying.

Don't happy people have bad days when all they do is cry?

I don't know who I am sometimes, but I am not the famed English author and I am not a crazy spinster and I am not a boy with a stupid name and I am not a convict. But I know a little something about Great Expectations.

No Sweat

Matthew 5:48 - Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Grace and peace to you.

T-SHIRT MAKING

Yesterday was T-shirt Making Day. The theme was LOVE & FRIENDSHIP. My group mates were Dela Vega and Solano, we made a great group, we had fun and enjoyed the moment. I'm not sure if we'll be able to win. Anyway, win or not, It's ok cuz we did our best.

Here are some photos of the t-shirt we made:

Jamie draw the design and I transferred it using carbon

Almost done







Monday with Dad

At last, after a long time I was able to blog again!

Last October 4, 2010, our country celebrated WORLD TEACHERS' DAY, and because of that there's no classes! Hooray.

We, siblings, accompanied dad to go to the doctor to laser his right eye that day. We waited for almost 4 hours for him to finish. After that we had lunch at Tokyo Tokyo. After everything, we went to the mall and brought our little brother to the barbers. He felt anew and comfortable since it is his first time to visit a barber inside the mall.




After my brother's haircut, we went to the cinema and watched a 3D movie, The legend of the Guardians. It was really a nice movie because many values can be learned out of it. It's also amazing watching that with your love ones.

So I took some pics while it's still not starting:




End of the story.

FAIL!

Kaninang umaga ng ako'y nasa paaralan na, bigla kong napansin ang mahapding sugat sa aking siko. Naalala ko na ako'y nagkuskos ng batong nakita kong panghilod sa loob ng banyo ng aking lola. Iyon siguro ang dahilan kung bakit humahapdi, dahilan narin sa sobrang pagkuskos ko.

Paguwi ko sa bahay, agad ko ikwinento ito sa aking mga kasama sa bahay.

AKO: "Gran, Gran! Tignan niyo ang hapdi ng siko ko. Nasobrahan ako sa pagkuskos dito nang makita ko ang panghilod na bato sa banyo niyo."

GRAN: "Ha?! Ano?! Sira ka ba?! Pangkuskos ko iyon ng banyo!


Hahahaha... sobrang pahiya!