Early this afternoon we were doing some pyramids. Officially,
I am the flyer and I have my very strong and beautiful base and a back spotter.
As we were practicing different stunts, I couldn’t help but to hurt them, hit
them in the face or kick their heads as I land onto their arms. I can sense the
pain they were feeling even though they keep telling me that they were fine,
but actually they were not. I felt apologetic and dreadful at the same time. I started blaming myself for the fault happened (but I just kept it in my head),
because I knew that I need to master more the stunts I am doing. I haven’t done these before and this was my
only opportunity to learn them in order to stay where I am placed right now.
I really want to cry that moment because I was already
causing them so many burdens, but I tried to holdback my tears as long as I could so they wouldn’t notice. I want them to know that I am still determined and
willing to do better for the team despite of the errors done.
Eventually, when we were doing the ‘twist’, I was able to
land perfectly several times without hurting them physically! Finally! Finally!
we were able to make it! I suddenly burst down in tears for the joy I felt! And
that feeling was beyond words! My company was starting to cry as well. They
must have felt the same way too. I was so
glad that I finally did right before the training session ended.
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