Why I'm Like This 2.0

During a game of family Scrabble:

Jake: Don't be intimidated by the fact that I am smart. I can't help it. I just puke intelligence.

Me: You puke intelligence?

Jake: Yes. Every day. Why, don't you?

Why I'm Like This

Sister 1: Not to start a big religious debate, but, don't you ever sometimes wonder what Christmas was all about?

Me: Um, Jesus?

Sister 1: No, but, wasn't Jesus really born in April? So, why do we celebrate it in December?

Sister 2: You just got that from an episode of Bones.

Sister 1: I mean, Christmas is nice because it brings people together, but, what's the big deal?

Me: Well, Jesus was the Messiah, which is kind-of the basis for our faith. Christmas is his birthday.

Sister 1: But, don't you ever wonder sometimes, like, what about the dinosaurs?

It's a good thing we're not on a reality show.