nowhere to hide

I saw Shutter Island last night. Now, I am not here to give you a review on the film. I'll leave that to the critics that are quick to find fault. I personally found it to be a gripping and beautifully produced film. Many people are upset with how the movie turned out, but instead of looking at how the storyline could have been I prefer to look at something else.

I don't like to watch horror films. It's not because I find them to be scary. It's quite the opposite. They are far too gory and gimmicky, especially when ghosts and the like are presented. You won't find any ghouls in Shutter Island. What you will see are dream sequences, hallucinations, and tricks of the eye. Which leads me to believe,

The most terrifying place on earth is the human mind.

In the real world there are limits to how badly things can go awry and some of the fears we have in this world are well-founded. On the other hand, the mind knows no bounds. It can manipulate, exaggerate, and deceive. It can cause us to be become irrational about the harmless "thump" we heard in the night. I guess this is why it's important for us to take care of ourselves and look out for those around us, so that we don't become enslaved to the fears that could cripple our beautiful minds.


Try going to an old mental hospital at night and not be filled with an irrational thought or two about what or who could be lurking just beyond that doorway. Imagination can be a blessing or a curse, depending on how you decide to use it.

It doesn't happen to you, you happen to life.

In school were you ever told by your teachers that there's no such thing as a stupid question? That there's no such thing as a wrong question?

I think people ask the wrong questions all the time.



What is my purpose in life? What is the meaning of life?
Instead shouldn't one ask

How can I live on purpose? How can I bring meaning to life?

I feel as though the first set of questions don't require personal action. Haven't there been people asking those same questions for centuries? Why even ask "What is my purpose in life?" I am certain that we're alive for more than one reason! Why sell ourselves short like that?

The second set of questions requires something of us. Could it be that we are responsible for our own lives? Imagine that!

I suppose you could spend your whole life hunkered down, asking again and again what your purpose is, and come to the end of your life realizing that your life never did have much purpose because you never chose to give it purpose.

Or you can spend each day asking how you can live it to the fullest, trusting that God, the beginning and the end, already has your life in His hands, and by living on purpose your life will have purpose.

I'll let you think about it and get back to me. I'm going to bed.

that feeling.

It's like butterflies in your heart. It's not out of nervousness or anxiety. It's just a gentle fluttering. It's that moment in time when you feel loved. It's that spot where you feel content. It's that point where all feels right with the world and you don't even care if you die. It's also a feeling of timelessness. I really don't know how else to describe it, but it's just this feeling deep in my marrow. It's like feeling the past, present, and future all at the same time and it's pure bliss.

I'm not sure how often it happens, but I know that it doesn't happen so often that it becomes ordinary. This is everything but ordinary.

Do I have to be called a Christian?

I stumbled upon an article today. It deals with a private Lutheran High School that expelled two girls for supposedly being lesbians.

The school had the legal right to do it since they're not a business and therefore don't have to abide by anti-discriminitory laws. The school expelled them because they concluded that the two girls were lesbians. They never engaged in any homosexual conduct while at school, but apparently their conduct outside of school is fair game for their expulsion.

I don't believe that homosexuality is right. I also don't believe that the actions the school took against these girls is right either.

If the school is going to expel these girls for engaging in homosexual behavior in their private lives, then why not expel those who engage in premarital sex as well? While they're at it they might as well expel students who have gotten drunk, lied, or coveted someone else's belongings, because we all know that real Christians never sin. (That was a sarcastic statement in case you
didn't catch it.)

I really don't think that expulsion was the answer. How are Christians supposed to influence others when they're constantly finding ways to push them away?

Help Me!

I Don't know what to do with my STUPIDITY!!!!

... but I'm not ready to confess what I feel today here in this blog. I have to think about it a hundred times.


geeezzzz .. I'm so sucked!

All Souls' Day

Usually, All Souls' Day is dated 2nd day of November, and that's every year. But here, in the Philippines, we go to the cemetery by November 1 in the morning and stay there until 5:00PM. There are other families who come by October 31 and have an overnight stay. That's a tradition which we do all the time.

October 31, 2010 was Sunday. We had a sudden plan to visit my grandma's brother's mark stone in Tagaytay. But before that, we went to my grandma's sister so that she can also come with us. When we were already there I was fighting with the strong wind. It can almost move me like I'm a thin paper or a leaf freely flying.

My grandma's brother's gravestone

With her sister

Me, trying to make a good photo with the wind, but it appears to show my pimple

November 1, 2010, Monday. We went to my uncle and grandpa's cemetery (My grandma's husband and son). We were done fighting with the strong wind we have experienced the day before this. It was a relief, no more messy hair duo. But it turned out to be worse. It was raining that time that made my pants have mud and stains on it. We have no tent, only huge umbrella, and that was not enough. We were many that time. My cousins were there, my niece and my aunt. So we all suffer with the wet and muddy surroundings, Plus, it was so cold and uncomfortable.

Somehow, there was happiness happened. We were all laughing, smiling and telling stories. My little brother also enjoyed playing with my niece, and I took some of their photos.

grandpa's & uncle's

lil' bro & niece

my lil' bro is so caring

he guided niece on her muddy way

"Just sit down here and everything will be ok", said lil' bro

"I have to tell you something, but promise to be quiet .. shh"

"Ok, don't make your voice too loud or mommy will hear us."

... And Janus, he was actually with us, but he's on duty. I asked him to go over our place so he can have his lunch with us, but he refused. I asked him If he wants me to bring him food, but didn't respond.I guess that means 'Yes', that I should, but my stupidity strikes me and didn't know if it is right, If it is right to bring him food while he is on duty, or not give him at all, that I believe they have allowance for food for themselves as they are on duty.

I felt sorry for him when I saw him at the place where he was located with his company, he looked weak, tired, and hungry, but I can't rewind the time when I should bring him a food, but I want to, really. When our eyes met each other, he smiled at me, and so I am. I didn't say anything. No need at all because it is all written in my face. I suddenly started to blush. You know how it feels to be in love. So my heart skipped a beat and want to chat with him for a while, then I suddenly remembered, he's on his duty. And that made me frown to realize.

(sigh)

Today he went home after two nights on duty. I don't want to bother him so I gave him time and space. He actually started last Sunday night after he drove us back and forth to Tagaytay back home. He had no rest at all. I really do feel so sorry for him.

I wish I can pay back all his good deeds to me and my family.

PS .. I wanted another hug, but no chance of having. I wanted to kiss him, so I used my imaginations.

So I guess, the story ends here now :)


Until next time,
erica

Halloween @ ALLS

This will be my last year to celebrate Halloween Party in our school. I don't know if we'll have in college. And at last! It is semester break! No school for a week. Be back on November 4.

I've done a lot of things that night. We came home by 12 midnight. I somehow enjoyed the party, but felt a slight sadness cuz the person that I want to dance with was not there.

Forget the sadness, we had a dance contest, the theme was TWILIGHT, the popular movie nowadays. We were the Humans, others were Volturi (not sure w/ the spelling) and Vampires. I also danced with my PHD crew.

(ta-da!)

giving all my best to win this contest

Richard is giving his shot!

All the cast of Humans

PHD dance number

We didn't win, LOL! That's okay, at least we enjoyed and had experienced winning.

After party ...

we had a live band

Berhel, my classmate

Alfredo, still my classmate

Party is just about to start

THE END.

Dela Vega's 16th Birthday!

We celebrated his birthday last October 21, 2010, but just had the pictures today to post on this blog.

Happy birthday, Pal!

his sweet 16

his parents smiling at the back :)

with his hot chicks!

me, eating his prepared foods!

Everyone enjoyed the day! It was fun to be at their house. I was so tired and so full when I got home.

More birthdays to come, Janred!

Cheers!

This afternoon was a crap

I noticed that I keep on posting of what happened to me within this day.

I'll make sure this will be the last for now.

So here's the story. After watching the DvDs that we rented yesterday, I have to return them back today because it's already due. At first, I don't want to go to town and return them because it was raining. But I have no choice. it's getting dark and I have to come back home in early hours.

From there, I forced myself to leave. When I was waiting for a public utility vehicle outside, the rain keep making me irritated, uncomfortable, and wet. The umbrella with me was not enough. I had a grumpy expression marked on my face.

I hate rain, It really makes my mood turn bad. Urrgghh.

When I was already in town, I was able to return the DvDs back to the store. I felt better when I saw peanuts across the street. they are always yummy, never disappointed me.

Okay, now that I was at the terminal for tricycles to ride me back home, a driver approached me and asked, "Saan po kayo pabalik? (Where are you going back)", I said, "Sa Antipolo (To Antipolo)"

"Saan uli?" (Where again)

"Sa Antipolo." (To Antipolo)

"Ho?" (what)

"Ay sa Milagros pala!" (Oh, I forgot! In Milagros)

That's when I realized I was saying the wrong place. I was making the driver confuse.

Actually, I'm exactly in Antipolo, the city where I am right now. He's asking where in Antipolo, which I forgot, I should answer at the first place Milagros, the subdivision that is located in Antipolo.

Stupid me. All I did was I slapped my forehead and proceeded to the tricycle.

The good part

Ok, so I had a previous post before this. I haven't ended well the story. I didn't feel bad at all, I realized.

Janus, driving back all the loads in our garage, with me by his side, having a little conversation.

I saw a photo inside his wallet the other day. It's a photo wearing his Army uniform and he's really handsome.

So when he got his wallet to show his license to the guard at the guardhouse, I saw the photo one more time and said, "How cute you are in there."

He smiled back at me and said,"aa. This picture is to frighten the rats. You can have it."

I dunno what to say and I started to blush.

Finally, this is all what I've been waiting for. He made my mood back to normal. He made me smile.