When the crazy wheel slows down, where will you be?

I've been thinking a lot lately. And you know what's frustrating about thinking a lot is that oftentimes, I don't come up with specific ideas or conclusions. Sometimes I make new goals, sometimes I have small realizations, but thinking - for me - typically just leads to a stupor of thought, more questioning or more thinking.

But I've seen a lot these past few weeks. And I think, for once, I do have something to say about it.

I've seen friends rise and fall and succeed and fail. And I have done all of those things, too.

It's been a crazy few weeks.

And here's what I've come to find:

Religion is like weight loss. You have to do it for yourself, because you want to, and because it makes you feel good. You don't have to prove anything to anyone and if you believe you DO have something to prove, you're likely not going to be as successful.

Truth is everywhere, and it's okay to accept that and embrace it.

Families are good. It's okay to be patient with them. They need it the most, anyway.

Thinking about where you want to be and who you want to be when you're 65 years old really really really puts things into perspective.

Sometimes you make choices just because. And they may not be the "right" choice or the "wrong" choice - but because it's a choice you already made, you can MAKE IT the right choice. Accept that. And move on.

People matter more than grades. And if I'm ever an employer, I will believe and accept that with all my heart, and hire you even if you didn't graduate college with a 4.0.

There's no reason you can't do what you love. And if you're worried about someone loving you for doing what you love - don't. If someone doesn't love YOU (the you that's doing what you love) you shouldn't be with them anyway.

You should be happy first, and then worry about making money. Because the first option is typically more in your control than the second. And it's more important, too.

-------

And - as my dear friend has been singing in my voice coaching classes from "Chess" - when the crazy wheel slows down, where will I be?

Think about it. When all that is hectic and "important" goes away, what will remain? Who will you be? Is it good? Do you like that person?

I think I'm still trying to figure that out, myself. But it's certainly helped me put things into perspective the last few weeks....

Stupid PLDT!

… Because of you, I wasn’t able to use the computer for a week, for there is no internet. I can’t update my facebook, upload photos, and visit my blog to post something new.

I’m not a delinquent payer for you to cut-off the line!!! You said you were just upgrading, you should have give us some “notice” that you are having some technical problem so we won’t get upset with your wrong doing!

Idiota!

Kirby’s first day

4:30 am - Kirby’s arrival

6:30 - breakfast at home

9:20 – early lunch

12:00 nn - @ MOA; shopping

- had merienda @ DQ

- had dinner @ Kenny Roger’s

- watched Harry Potter 7 part 1

8:40 pm - driving home

10:00 - @ home

10:30- Went to bed and sleep

It’s so fun to be around with my cousin, he’s so cute, bubbly, and very forgiving. He was the one who invited us to watch Harry Potter 7, but when we were already there, he was snoring infront of the screen … hahaha... And Adrian taught him how to play a certain game in PsP.

So far so good, he enjoys staying with us here in the Philippines. I hope I can visit them there in Canada too.

Another inspiring day 11.22.10

Today, Janus made my day a good start. He went to school to give me instructions for he and my family will leave the house. I blushed when he came to talk to me.

…. And because of him, I was chosen to be the best student to give speech in Filipino subject for this day, and I believe my week will be as good as this Monday.

With full of love,

Erica ♥

Idiosyncrasy

For many years no matter how I try, I somehow just can't study in the afternoon. Yes it's a big disadvantage to waste lazy afternoons away but everyone is different right =D That makes life so colourful. Everyone is special. One of a kind. Thus the title of today's post.

It's so great!

I'm enjoying my time writing my novel. I'm keeping it up. I feel so glad and at the same I fell no stress at all.

That's all for now.. Read my novel, k?

The Priest's Sermon

Yesterday I learned a very good lesson.

We were at our regular Sunday schedule when I "unexpectedly" saw Dela Vega.

Aside from that unexpected meeting, the Antipolo Cathedral Priest also paid a visit to our wonderful church. He was doing some promotion to spread and invite youngsters to go and serve God.

Father Santos, the priest, has a very interesting homily that day. He began by sharing what happened during their lunch at the Cathedral. Another priest told a story of his childhood through a can of liver spread. He told the others how he enjoyed playing different Filipino games and how it filled his childhood memories with a smile. And father Santos wondered why today's youth don't find those things interesting anymore. That PsPs and Nintendo Wiis make up for the word F-U-N. He was asking himself if he was just dreaming or is he really facing reality. Are PsPs worth 20,000 pesos really enough?

We can say that change is inevitable. But are we changing for the good or it's just the other way around? One of the hottest controversies is regarding the reproductive health bill by the government. The priest pointed out his opinion and was kind of unsweetened on the comments they received after opposing the said bill. He asked if the use of condoms to prevent the birth of a child was good, and if premarital sex was considered a "good thing" already.

The priest honestly told us that he would rather stay on the old-fashioned way than being hip and modern at the same time destroying his morality.

Lastly, he asked if God's Ten Commandments also innovated during modernization and that catholic authorities should just throw old one and make a less conservative commandment.

(written by Janred DV due to my laziness)

Stressed-out

I don't feel good lately. I fell stupid and terrible oftentimes.

Yesterday, I said I must bring my wallet with me before I'll leave the house. I know I placed it inside my closet, so I went there. When I was there, I started wondering why I was there, I paused for a long time trying to recall what I need from my closet. I was about to give up when I finally realized that I need mt wallet. I sighed.

The other day, I told myself I will have an advance reading in my English subject. So I grabbed my bag and got my English book, while flipping the pages I began to ask myself what I will do with the book.

Gezz ... I slapped my forehead! asking why am I like this lately!

Do I lack sleep? Do I think too much? Am I having a brain problem? or the nutrients I in take is not enough? These are the questions I asked myself.

Well, sleeping and eating nutritious foods don't seem to be the problem. I guess I'm starting to have an illness.

What do you think?

SEE YOU AT THE ENDING

Today, I started to create my own novel. I will post them in my second blog. I am really eager to finish my own story, and maybe in the future I can publish them.

If you are an active follower and you liked my work, please help me have more readers and followers. I just want every one of us to be happy and at the same time I can practice my writing and grammar skills.

If you want to check it out now, please click this link, and I hope you have fun reading.

Thank you for those who will support.

More power,

Erica

Thanks be to God.

Thank you for the vision to read Your word.

Thank you for the wonderful scent of freshly blooming flowers.
Thank you for the refreshing spray of water coming off of the lake.
Thank you for strawberry season.
Thank you for bird songs.

Thank you for my amazingly supportive friends and family.

The continuation

“In every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction”- The Law of Interaction.

I thought being happy from the mass will make you happy throughout the day. I was wrong. That’s the time when I believed the saying above.

This is the continuation from my previous post that is dated also today.

(Sigh)

You see, I don’t want to mention his name anymore since I’ve been mentioning him here in my blog over and over.

The whole family, with him, in a restaurant, was talking about this teenage mom who always awake until the middle of the night to take care of her baby. I pity her most of the time.

Then this guy asked, “How long is she and her fiancé together?” I said that they were a year and so.

“You know what; eventually they will separate after 4 years. Their emotions will change because of … (blah, blah, blah, I don’t want to here another shit) …. You will learn that when you’re in college. I believe that will be tackled in biology class.”

Since before, I never like him talking to me about relationships. He’s been very bitter about that and HE SUCKS so much when he tells me something, anything about that! He scares me, he’s starting to influence me little by little, that there will be nothing sweet and fruitful of having a relationship.

He’s been like that because of his past relationship with other girls. They left him and broke his heart.

Me, I’m only 16, young and very excited to have a boyfriend when the time comes and my parents let me have one ( I obey their rules, I’m such a goodie). Maybe I’m very imaginative about what I like to happen when I have a boyfriend or a husband, or my own family (that’s what usually teenagers are). And I know that life isn’t perfect, but I believe if I wait for the right time, right place, and the right man for me, only death will put us apart, especially when you include that in your prayers before you sleep that there will be a someday when there will be a man that you’ll meet that can love you with all his heart and that will never fade away whatever struggles comes in both of your lives. In the end you both will still be together. It can happen, since there are many couples around the world who have been like that.

I hate what he’s inserting in my memory; He’s making things a nightmare! He said that most of the relationship will last for 4 years. What if I finally have a husband who I love so much, but because of what he said to me, I will always think negative to my husband “he might have an affair with her or “he’s like these and like that”, “Oh no we’re almost 4 years, he’s love for me will soon be expired!”

And because I’m single and he’s starting to make me traumatic, In the future I might not have a husband because starting from this point I’m already afraid of having a boyfriend.

I hope he realize that not because he’s a graduate of psychology and also loved so many times, and many time that they broke his heart, He will start to be a bitter man, a woman hater!

He always bases every thing scientifically! Sometimes I want to answer him back and tell him that sometimes we have to forget about science. That what happened to him from the past is his destiny not to end up with her because there is someone better for him that God prepared. Sometimes it’s not all psychology things to find the reasons why some couples broke up. He lacks faith in God, In God and with God, things happen differently, things might happen in a better way and I wanted him to realize that, but I can’t find the exact words to slap that in his face.

Will you, on your own, let yourself to have a 4 years life span relationship with the person who you are with today? No right, because it is how you treat each other and how you approach each other that makes your relationship longer.

Ohhh,, what do I know?? I’m just kid, I’m just a kid who has no experience about this kind of relationship.

Do you get my point? I know to myself that I didn’t express it well to catch your attention or feel the way I am feeling right now, but as I am typing this post, tears were running down to my cheeks. Tears were running down because I am in love with this bitter man!

My morning was okay, it turned opposite in the evening.

Church is cool!

My family and I went to the church to attend mass. I was very happy in the morning because of the priest’s story in homily. He was narrating to us a wife who just got home from church and learned something new from the priest who led the mass earlier. She approached her husband and said, “Honey, the priest said that there is no marriage in heaven, that when we die. We won’t recognize each other anymore. It’s sad to know.

The husband laughed and faced his wife, “Why yes, honey! If there is marriage in heaven, it won’t be heaven anymore.” He paused. “You know. It will look like hell.”

Everybody inside the church laughed at the story. Many agreed because their understanding would be that those wives will never stop nagging their husbands even they are already in heaven. Heaven will still be a headache for the men.

And there was another one.

One day the priest asked a male college student why he didn’t choose to be a priest like him. The guy said, if he’ll be a priest, he won’t be able to marry a woman. The priest agreed with his answer and walked away. He found another person to interview, this time it was a female. He asked her, “Why didn’t you choose to be a nun? Being one of the sisters is not hard. All you have to do is pray inside the convent. Why?”

The female answered the same question like the first one. “Simple, if I’ll be a nun I won’t be able to marry a man.”

Back to the mass, the priest we were that moment pointed to the nuns beside us and said, “So they don’t have a boyfriend, do you, sisters? Or was that a lie?”

We laughed again for the second time.

The priest said something after that but I failed to hear it. All I heard at the last was, “Don’t worry, sisters. When I die and didn’t see any good looking man in heaven I will haunt you and tell you to date one, so you can experience how it’s like to be, right? Not bad.”

For the last time, the crowd laughed again. I laughed too, because they were laughing.

We ended the masses with smiles on our faces.

It's time for a check-up.

"If it isn't broken, don't fix it." It sounds innocent enough, but I've been thinking about this phrase for a few weeks now and how misguiding it can be. Are we really supposed to wait until something in our life is broken before we fix it, before it gets some attention or maintenance?

I don't understand how some people can find this mantra to be valuable. With such a mindset one is expected to believe that the world will take care of itself and there's no need to step in and take action until something is wrong. What does such an attitude say about one's:

friendships

marriage

health

house

vehicle

(insert something really important to you right here)

?

We need to care for and be good stewards of all that we have. This means constantly working and striving to keep it at its best. It's much easier and less costly (financially, spiritually, physically, and mentally) to maintain something over the course of its life than to clean up its broken pieces. Yes, that does mean work, but the downside of letting anything valuable in our lives slip through our fingers is that it is not guaranteed that it will be able to be fixed or replaced should something damaging happen to it.

Just saying.

Nothing says "I Love You" like...

Some guys write it in ink within a card.

Others may write it in the sand on a beach.
My friend's husband on the other hand...

Sneaky C

I'm certainly not God

I don't notice every little thing

but I see your sneaky ways.

Someone needs a spanking.

nowhere to hide

I saw Shutter Island last night. Now, I am not here to give you a review on the film. I'll leave that to the critics that are quick to find fault. I personally found it to be a gripping and beautifully produced film. Many people are upset with how the movie turned out, but instead of looking at how the storyline could have been I prefer to look at something else.

I don't like to watch horror films. It's not because I find them to be scary. It's quite the opposite. They are far too gory and gimmicky, especially when ghosts and the like are presented. You won't find any ghouls in Shutter Island. What you will see are dream sequences, hallucinations, and tricks of the eye. Which leads me to believe,

The most terrifying place on earth is the human mind.

In the real world there are limits to how badly things can go awry and some of the fears we have in this world are well-founded. On the other hand, the mind knows no bounds. It can manipulate, exaggerate, and deceive. It can cause us to be become irrational about the harmless "thump" we heard in the night. I guess this is why it's important for us to take care of ourselves and look out for those around us, so that we don't become enslaved to the fears that could cripple our beautiful minds.


Try going to an old mental hospital at night and not be filled with an irrational thought or two about what or who could be lurking just beyond that doorway. Imagination can be a blessing or a curse, depending on how you decide to use it.

It doesn't happen to you, you happen to life.

In school were you ever told by your teachers that there's no such thing as a stupid question? That there's no such thing as a wrong question?

I think people ask the wrong questions all the time.



What is my purpose in life? What is the meaning of life?
Instead shouldn't one ask

How can I live on purpose? How can I bring meaning to life?

I feel as though the first set of questions don't require personal action. Haven't there been people asking those same questions for centuries? Why even ask "What is my purpose in life?" I am certain that we're alive for more than one reason! Why sell ourselves short like that?

The second set of questions requires something of us. Could it be that we are responsible for our own lives? Imagine that!

I suppose you could spend your whole life hunkered down, asking again and again what your purpose is, and come to the end of your life realizing that your life never did have much purpose because you never chose to give it purpose.

Or you can spend each day asking how you can live it to the fullest, trusting that God, the beginning and the end, already has your life in His hands, and by living on purpose your life will have purpose.

I'll let you think about it and get back to me. I'm going to bed.

that feeling.

It's like butterflies in your heart. It's not out of nervousness or anxiety. It's just a gentle fluttering. It's that moment in time when you feel loved. It's that spot where you feel content. It's that point where all feels right with the world and you don't even care if you die. It's also a feeling of timelessness. I really don't know how else to describe it, but it's just this feeling deep in my marrow. It's like feeling the past, present, and future all at the same time and it's pure bliss.

I'm not sure how often it happens, but I know that it doesn't happen so often that it becomes ordinary. This is everything but ordinary.

Do I have to be called a Christian?

I stumbled upon an article today. It deals with a private Lutheran High School that expelled two girls for supposedly being lesbians.

The school had the legal right to do it since they're not a business and therefore don't have to abide by anti-discriminitory laws. The school expelled them because they concluded that the two girls were lesbians. They never engaged in any homosexual conduct while at school, but apparently their conduct outside of school is fair game for their expulsion.

I don't believe that homosexuality is right. I also don't believe that the actions the school took against these girls is right either.

If the school is going to expel these girls for engaging in homosexual behavior in their private lives, then why not expel those who engage in premarital sex as well? While they're at it they might as well expel students who have gotten drunk, lied, or coveted someone else's belongings, because we all know that real Christians never sin. (That was a sarcastic statement in case you
didn't catch it.)

I really don't think that expulsion was the answer. How are Christians supposed to influence others when they're constantly finding ways to push them away?

Help Me!

I Don't know what to do with my STUPIDITY!!!!

... but I'm not ready to confess what I feel today here in this blog. I have to think about it a hundred times.


geeezzzz .. I'm so sucked!

All Souls' Day

Usually, All Souls' Day is dated 2nd day of November, and that's every year. But here, in the Philippines, we go to the cemetery by November 1 in the morning and stay there until 5:00PM. There are other families who come by October 31 and have an overnight stay. That's a tradition which we do all the time.

October 31, 2010 was Sunday. We had a sudden plan to visit my grandma's brother's mark stone in Tagaytay. But before that, we went to my grandma's sister so that she can also come with us. When we were already there I was fighting with the strong wind. It can almost move me like I'm a thin paper or a leaf freely flying.

My grandma's brother's gravestone

With her sister

Me, trying to make a good photo with the wind, but it appears to show my pimple

November 1, 2010, Monday. We went to my uncle and grandpa's cemetery (My grandma's husband and son). We were done fighting with the strong wind we have experienced the day before this. It was a relief, no more messy hair duo. But it turned out to be worse. It was raining that time that made my pants have mud and stains on it. We have no tent, only huge umbrella, and that was not enough. We were many that time. My cousins were there, my niece and my aunt. So we all suffer with the wet and muddy surroundings, Plus, it was so cold and uncomfortable.

Somehow, there was happiness happened. We were all laughing, smiling and telling stories. My little brother also enjoyed playing with my niece, and I took some of their photos.

grandpa's & uncle's

lil' bro & niece

my lil' bro is so caring

he guided niece on her muddy way

"Just sit down here and everything will be ok", said lil' bro

"I have to tell you something, but promise to be quiet .. shh"

"Ok, don't make your voice too loud or mommy will hear us."

... And Janus, he was actually with us, but he's on duty. I asked him to go over our place so he can have his lunch with us, but he refused. I asked him If he wants me to bring him food, but didn't respond.I guess that means 'Yes', that I should, but my stupidity strikes me and didn't know if it is right, If it is right to bring him food while he is on duty, or not give him at all, that I believe they have allowance for food for themselves as they are on duty.

I felt sorry for him when I saw him at the place where he was located with his company, he looked weak, tired, and hungry, but I can't rewind the time when I should bring him a food, but I want to, really. When our eyes met each other, he smiled at me, and so I am. I didn't say anything. No need at all because it is all written in my face. I suddenly started to blush. You know how it feels to be in love. So my heart skipped a beat and want to chat with him for a while, then I suddenly remembered, he's on his duty. And that made me frown to realize.

(sigh)

Today he went home after two nights on duty. I don't want to bother him so I gave him time and space. He actually started last Sunday night after he drove us back and forth to Tagaytay back home. He had no rest at all. I really do feel so sorry for him.

I wish I can pay back all his good deeds to me and my family.

PS .. I wanted another hug, but no chance of having. I wanted to kiss him, so I used my imaginations.

So I guess, the story ends here now :)


Until next time,
erica