I've been very frustrated, lately. It's been less of the "get-out-of-my-way-you're-bothering-me" kind of frustrated, and more of that terrible feeling of freshly-cut-fingernails-on-a-stark-dry-bath-towel kind of frustrated. The kind where you feel like there's a little creature gnawing at you somewhere that you just want to kick away but you can't find him. The kind where you feel like you're a WAY to big fish in a WAY too small pond - the kind of "big fish" situation that suffocates you, not makes you look awesome.
I think I realized why.
I have many ambitions. I've got small things I want to do - like read classic literature (or read anything at all) or cook more or exercise more - but I've got big things too! I want to live in exotic places. I have about 5,694 business ideas I'd love to get off the ground. I have books I want to write, skills I want to learn, shows I want to be in and things I just want to BE.
People say this is impossible.
You know, to do everything.
Those People say "Well, you're not a writer. Who are you to write a book?" or "You're not a photographer. Who are you to be taking pictures?" or "You're not an advertising major - who are you to want to intern at a design agency?"
Hence, the frustration.
It's not impossible, really. In my own way and in my own head it works out. Also - I'm a human. And since I'm a human I can do those things. Lots of other humans are doing them, so why can't I?
ISN'T BEING HUMAN ENOUGH?
That fact alone empowers me to do whatever I want. Humans have ideas. Humans DO things. And all it takes to DO something is a good idea (and a little will-power).
I think I WILL write a book - because I'm a person. A person who can write. A person with ideas who can write them down for other people to read.
I WILL be a photographer because I like it. I enjoy it. And I'm good at it. I have ideas. I crave knowledge about it and I'll keep learning. What more do I need? - a degree? A certificate that says "I'm a photographer. I enjoy it. I'm good at it. I have ideas. I crave knowledge about it." Seriously?
I think who someone "IS" or what someone "DOES" shouldn't require documentation. I really think a person can BE whoever they want or DO whatever they want regardless of formalities. It should be obvious that whatever it is is a part of them - part of the way they live. And that should be enough.
I guess now I've just got to Do It and Be It and never turn back. And no-one can tell me it's impossible.