How ARE you?

He asks how I am,

And so, how am I?
My days are the usual day.
I wake up, I go out,
Time goes by.
My days are exactly the days
I have lived since arriving here.

So why is it lately I find I’m
Uneasy all through the night?
And why even now does my skin
Feel explosive as dynamite?
Why does my heart pound
Like a battering ram?
How can he ask me how I am?
How I am is fine!

But really, this is what i said:
How am i? Well, let me tell you!
tired (obviously :) and i apologize to the world for it), anxious - yet excited - sad that the world is so beautiful and i have so little time to see it, but glad that i get to see what i do get to see every day, i am at peace because i know God loves me but unsettled as to whether he knows (or, rather if i'm showing actively enough) that i love Him, I am grateful and yet sinfully covetous
with much apprehension, but lucky ignorance
and in that, i remain oddly contented and extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemely fantastically thrilled to still be breathing and grateful for life and for laughing.
But mostly grateful for the ability to smile unconditionally.