Are you going to read this? If not, I don’t mind

I always tell myself to be true. Anything that appears in my mind and whatever I feel with so many comings and goings in my life I always blog it.

If I’m away from the computer, I write in on a scratch paper. To be honest with you, I get so pressured when other people tell me that my writing is good. And that’s really something. But who will really stay reading are my real friends and the people who love my blog.

That’s why when I get to read other’s blog I was never against with anything they post. Like me, they also have their own opinions, beliefs and events happening in their life. They are just being real and expressing their emotions. We just need to understand them. That’s what makes me appreciate different people, get inspired, learn from them and get ideas to post something on my blog (and sometimes even for my assignments, haha! like from Sir John Marine’s blog).


I salute every blogger in this world. They contribute a lot of help and knowledge to other people. They might sound harsh or not, but let’s face it we still get something out from them.


As long as we don’t step on other people and we know our limitations, everything will be fine.

Officially back!

At last! I finally had the time to open my blog and post something new. It’s been 3 weeks (I guess?) that this was in silent. The last time I blogged here was when I received my certificate from a baking class and reminding you how many more days before my birthday.

4 days before my birthday, people inside the house were so busy preparing everything for the party, from the house, the foods, drinks and etc. It was even raining so hard that time and I was already feeling something not so good about it. We even received frequent brown- out due to the heavy rains pouring. When it was already the day of my birthday, I was expecting many visitors to come because many said they will attend my birthday party. Then, I was disappointed. Few only came because of the stupid weather! I knew this was happening! I was really annoyed because the people who I was expecting the most didn’t come. And honestly, I was so sad and told myself that it was the worst party ever! But good thing I looked at the bright side, Janred came, and he is one of the important people in my life, my girlfriends also remembered me, and so as the guy I’ve been crushing for a long time, eventually, I find calmness in my sorrowing heart.

After the birthday party and everything that happened, I cleaned the whole house again, washed piles of plates and arranged the furniture. Now it was the time to prepare everything for my new school.

Another disappointment came to my life when I wasn’t able to qualify to enroll in my dream school, ADMU, when I received an e-mail from their office. I started holding back tears because my cousin and my mom were around and I don’t want them to see me crying. What happened to my birthday and the news I received made me so down! A failure! I felt like my life was in ruin. I have no other choice but to enter MIRIAM COLLEGE, an exclusive school for girls. I never wanted to enroll there but I have no choice and the deadline of requirements needed was near. If I didn’t abruptly make a move, they might not accept me and not be able to enter any school at all. So, I guess, that is where I really belong. I have no other choice but to accept the outcome of my life.

After I successfully passed all the needed requirements, I was now enrolled in that school. I wasn’t feeling so happy at all. I started attending psychological exam and orientations from those said schedules. And you know what sucks? My dream school is just beside my present school and every time I’ll pass by I can feel that I am so hurt, I even question myself, “Am I really an imbecile?”

I’m trying to move on by searching things what my present school has that my dream school doesn’t have. But whatever I see around the campus, still ADMU is far better.
I guess I just started loving my present school when I listened to the last orientation that they held last June 7. It was convincing, and little, I’m starting to be proud that I am now a MARYKNOLLER. They even prepared different presentations from different clubs and organizations they have and they really amused me.

The following day, June 8, was my first day in school and my first time to be in college. I felt just fine traveling there and meeting my blockmates and making new set of friends. And until present I’m gaining more academically and socially.

Reformation

Lately, I’ve been going to the wrong direction and thinking in a wrong way.  I lost focus of what I always love to do and that is---- to BLOG.  To make some clarifications I asked myself,

“What’s wrong, Erica? What makes you down? How will you be successful if you’re always like this? What are the possible ways to put you on full strength again? Where is the eagerness you used to put in yourself to reach that goal? You need to answer these questions right here, right now. Don’t waste time. Come on! You used to repeat the phrase make use of my time again and again in your mind. But what are you doing? You’re just sitting there and looking at nowhere. Isn’t this the right time to use it? ”.

Don’t get me wrong, but I really talk to myself often.

Remember my last post before this? You can read it back if you want so you can understand clearly what I am talking about.

If you just know, Blogging is a big deal for me, earlier as now I am practicing myself for bigger purposes. I am putting myself to the test, to ready myself to make my career successful in the future, and this is a perfect way to start. I always wanted to be a WRITER. I love writing; I always have abundant imaginations and can make them out of a story.

I often picture myself holding a book in front of the Medias throwing questions of how I made it, that the book I have created is now a bestselling not only in my continent, but also worldwide. That my name is very famous and is always seen in magazines and newspapers, and paparazzi are everywhere to snap photos of me for their own article, and they might also put it in their blogs too. And that I’m well- known by people just like how Ophra Winfrey is right now, and so as Bill Gates, and the others.

Doesn’t it feel good to be true? I want these things to happen, I really do.

But in every big achievement it is necessary to start at the small one, because there is a saying, “In every thousand miles we start with one step”.  But how will it be as big as my imagination to make it in reality if in small areas I am not making a move?  I should stop being happy-go-lucky and should set a goal.

Just like yesterday, I know there’s something nice to blog about a grandpa and my unusual feeling of what happened that the readers will find it touching, but I didn’t post it because I’m lazy and tired. I’m tired because I’ve been doing nothing the whole day.  See? This is not good. When I get a job I can’t be like this. Do you get what I mean?

If you’re telling me that maybe I’m getting the wrong choice of career, you’re wrong. This is what I love, being in the industry of authors, editors, writers, columnists, etc. This is really the profession I wanted to take. I’m just being TOO LAZY.

And I find my courage again when a friend of mine, Mr. John Marine, had an article about blogging stuff which I find it absolutely true. He inspires many people across the world including me. And his words are very powerful and meaningful that you will get up from where you are seated and start doing what you really love that is good for you and for your career. I appreciate everything he does for me all the time.

If you want to meet him, just visit his blog here.

And this time, I’ll make it sure that I’m heading the right direction to success with God’s guidance.

Here we go again!

I hate this kind of feeling when I have nothing to blog about and there are abundant things and events happening in my life everyday (except this issue). I just can't find something significant, or am I not good in expressing those here?

I don't know. It's awkward today and the previous days. Been here at home for a while. Nothing new. I wish I have plenty of money to travel anywhere and do the things I want to that money can only pay.

Staying at home really kills me to death :|

Full of Inspiration and Motivation

Good evening to you my friend.

I am just done with my Valedictory speech that I am talking about earlier @ LJ where you can read here.
And before I go to bed, let me tell you more about this very hour.

These past days, many people are making me feel great and fulfilling. Must be the way how I emit my feelings to others. And I am thankful to those people, and to God of course, He is always included in all the gratitudes that I am giving.

As I checked my twitter account, I was full of accomplishments for the compliments that I have read from people who follow me and at the same time I follow them back too.

Here's why: (Click the photo to enlarge)

(There are things that are easy to explain by showing than by saying)

.. and I never thought that not only few enjoy reading my blog, but there are many. And because of those people I just have a new strength to do more greater things in life.

I know that you know who you people are touching my life filling it with glory, love and happiness.

Thank you :)

Blogless

Not to say I no longer have a blog. Just that I am "less" anything to blog. Can't think of a thing. I hate it when that happens.

It's so great!

I'm enjoying my time writing my novel. I'm keeping it up. I feel so glad and at the same I fell no stress at all.

That's all for now.. Read my novel, k?

It's time for a check-up.

"If it isn't broken, don't fix it." It sounds innocent enough, but I've been thinking about this phrase for a few weeks now and how misguiding it can be. Are we really supposed to wait until something in our life is broken before we fix it, before it gets some attention or maintenance?

I don't understand how some people can find this mantra to be valuable. With such a mindset one is expected to believe that the world will take care of itself and there's no need to step in and take action until something is wrong. What does such an attitude say about one's:

friendships

marriage

health

house

vehicle

(insert something really important to you right here)

?

We need to care for and be good stewards of all that we have. This means constantly working and striving to keep it at its best. It's much easier and less costly (financially, spiritually, physically, and mentally) to maintain something over the course of its life than to clean up its broken pieces. Yes, that does mean work, but the downside of letting anything valuable in our lives slip through our fingers is that it is not guaranteed that it will be able to be fixed or replaced should something damaging happen to it.

Just saying.

Hooray!

Someone just gave me a compliment that my grammar is improving!

Thanks to that person.

As you can notice, I started blogging last March and my grammar isn't that good. I also posted before that I want to improve it so I can do better in school. Now that I achieved my goal, I am also thanking blogger for helping me giving a good practice.


Chao!

Blah Blah Blah

Another day where I can't get my thoughts into words. Too much hurt, too much confusion and not enough peace makes writing hard. Today is just one of those days.

Blogging has been hard for several weeks now and it's been difficult to write congruent thoughts without creating a book. While writing has been an outlet for me, it is also a barometer of the stress and strain of what is going on in my life. More so, it is a barometer of where I stand in my relationship with God because when I am trusting Him completely there is a peace around me that is certainly supernatural, but, when I am in the old mode of wanting what I want and struggling with emotions that are neither healthy nor productive, there is no peace and I am a tangled mass of confusing thoughts and feelings. This isn't a good recipe for writing.

My Lucky Purse

Coincidence or not, I think I owned a lucky purse. I have noticed that every time I'll place my money on it, I will never run out of money!

But, when I put my money in my other wallet, I'll regret that I did. My money vanishes so fast. Nothing left, as in ZERO.

I've been keeping that small purse for two years now, when I bought a school bag.

Is it really lucky? I hope yes--- so I could always say "LAST MONEY NEVER DIES!" When I feel that i'm losing money.

I REALLY NEED MONEY, ANYONE GIVE ME SOME MONEY! (singing).
everybody needs money!

Joke.


Lol.

When I Start Blogging ...

Who am I?

Why am I here?

Why did I start to post random articles along this blog?

Did you even wonder-------WHY?


Yes?

No?


I better tell you.

I should have posted this before, and because I was new before and I don't know how to start things in here, Maybe it's better to start things right now.


I am JOANA ERICA DANIELLE BERMUDEZ PAULE. They call me Jed, Eri, Erich, Wana, Dani, Jeddie and so on and so forth. But the common name they call me is Erica.

I live here in the Philippines where you experience extreme heat and rain every year.

I started blogging this year because I just realized that I have many stories and thoughts that I want to share with you.

I am so frustrated being a writer. I started writing when I was 14. There are many errors when I am writing my own novel and I never finished an ending with three of them that I started. So I gave up.

Reasons why I make this blog:

1. To share my stories to hundreds and thousands of strangers that I barely talk to or never talked at all.
2. Since I am a Filipino student, English subject must be learned well. I must improve my writing skills and develop a wide vocabulary.
3. Make friends around the world.
4. Be inspired by reading others' stories.
5. To avoid boredom when you have nothing to do at home.
6. It gives me happiness releasing my emotions.
7. To forget how frustrated I am as a young writer.
8. To be creative and fun
9. To realize how useful technology is.
10. Lastly, when there's no one to talk to about my problems, maybe this blog can help.

que sera, sera

When I was just a little girl,
I asked my mother,
what would I be?

Will I be pretty?
Will I be rich?
Here's what she FORGOT to say to me:

Pay your bills, your bills!
There's never enough money.
The future is debt, you see.
Pay your bills, your bills!

I totally....

miss my friend Mayo.

Being around Mayo is like bringing home a new puppy. He's so adorable. Sure, he gets into trouble, but you never get mad at him because he just wants to make you happy. He has an endless supply of energy. He waits on you and makes you feel loved. He looks at his family with big puppy dog eyes and is so incredibly loyal to them.

I totally miss Mayo.

The Fortune Cookie

I have a fortune cookie slip taped to my fridge that says:

You will come to realizations in your life that will change you forever.

I doubt that these are among them, but at least they are fun:

1. I've come to realize that, when I talk: I'm not necessarily saying what I'm thinking, or vice versa.

2. I've come to realize that, somewhere, someone is thinking: about far more important things than this blog.

3. I've come to realize that, I'll always have: a need for my mother and the support of good friends

4. I've come to realize that, my cell phone is: so high tech!

5. I've come to realize that, when I wake up in the morning: it's probably not fair, but I pee before I take my babe out to do the same.

6. I've come to realize that, before I go to sleep at night I: love to read and have missed that ritual.

7. I've come to realize that, right now I am thinking about: how loud Stitch is snoring. Do they make breathe-rights for dogs?

8. I've come to realize that, I get on facebook: too much.

9. I've come to realize, that tonight I will: perhaps go and buy a school supply at the national bookstore. Well, I've accepted it more than realized - I hate spending money on them.

10. I've come to realize that, school is: where I belong, in any capacity.

11. I've come to realize that, tomorrow I will: wake up at 4:45 am because its school day.



Maybe it's not what the fortune cookie had in mind, but I like it.

Oh eri ..

sucks when you're happy and you can't really tell anyone about it.

I Have Things to Say

But I will likely say them tomorrow or the next day.

For now - please don't go away. I very much like you.

And thank you for being patient with my spotty posting :)

Catering.

When I have so very much to blog about, I usually don't. I realize that time and space cannot possibly provide ample opportunity to cover everything sufficiently, so I refrain entirely. Sad, isn't it, that after all this time I've never learned to demonstrate simple temperance in blogging. ~sigh~

Anyway, After all my hectic schedules from Monday up to this Saturday, Finally it's over! We served well Lumacang's wedding and done everything we need to complete and do. I'm not lucky that day. I wasn't able to parlor myself because there is no much time to visit the salon, the other servants aren't that expert to let them do their own (anyway, I look pretty w/ my own natural beauty). Only Kuya Adaon helped great. Plus, I didn't see the PA's Gila. I don't know how it looks like in actual. Bad, isn't it?

I'm so sad and maybe depressed because my love didn't come, but I truly understand. My day will never be the same again without seeing his smiles and inhale his fragrance. I'm back to being grumpy when someone's trying to talk to me. OH! what love can do.

Anyway, here are some photos of that day:

I only slept 4 hours the night before his wedding. We prepared a lot of thing. I slept by 12am and awake by 4. It was so harsh. We pumped balloons early in the morning with my sister.

I made this heart all my own. It took me an hour to finish this big figure.

Me with an ROTC officer, Sir Antonio. The surname in his uniform is not his.

With Sir Adaon, who helped us with everything. Without him, maybe everything will be a disaster.

Matulac, that's her surname. I forgot her first name. She's pretty in person and also an officer.

Sorry, I only took few photos. I have no time to click and click my camera. That's me. Ready to go home. What a relief!

Thank God for everything. It was successful. The foods are delicious. and the decorations are neatly arranged. Good thing it didn't rain that time too (because they have no roof. It will be poor for the visitors).

=]

A Freaky Friday

It was weird this morning. I woke up dizzy and out of my mind. First, I put a cereal on my bowl then grabbed a box of milk out of the fridge. I was about to pour it when I realized that the milk was onwed by my mom- and it's a soya milk! Geez.. Why didn't I read the label?

Second, when I'm about to brush my teeth, I squeezed my facial wash onto my toothbrush. When it was near my mouth, I stopped and surveyed for a moment. I wonder why the color is different from the usual toothpaste I put on my toothbrush. That's when I found out I made a mistake! It's not a toothpaste! Gawd. I removed it and since I don't want to waste it I used it . Lucky I'm not yet facially washing my face. And lucky Im not yet brushing it inside my mouth. Yuck!

Third, I keep thinking about Dimitri Belikov, one of the characters in Vampire Academy. I think i'm falling in love with him even I don't exactly see him. I just imagine what I read in the book of how he was described. Don't get me wrong but I think he's cute and hunky. --or, I'm just too imaginative. But I can replace my crush with Dimitri my love!---- eiw!

Last, someone called my sister on the telephone. She knew my sister's name. When my lil' sis asked her who she was, the person in the other line said "Guess who am I". Then the person abruptly hanged the phone. I shiver! It was sort of scary. Just try having one some time. And you'll feel what I want you to feel.

I wonder why I'm crazy. I'm not drank. Maybe I'm just stressed about last night.

Heeh.

Sweet 16

Have you ever imagine yourself how tiny you are when you were first born? Isn't it ironic today that you're now 6 feet high while when you were a baby your height was only 2 or less?

Before it's only Ken and Barbie who you make their love story while playing with them and making them move. Now you're starting to have your own love story too.

Have you experienced being shy to enter your first day in school when you were kindergarten? Now that you can brake the rules in school especially when you're a senior.

Have you imagined yourself playing a pedal car before, but now you're actually driving a real car?

Have you ever looked back of these kind of situations as you grow up and become mature? Isn't this amazing?

We have a lot to say and do now when before we only listen to our parents' commands. We can do thing on our own, we can take a bath ourselves, we can cook our own food, do our assignments alone, and decide things on our own.

But wait. Who helped us to be who we are right now and gave us everything us need? Did we thank them for all what they did to us to become successful? You guess.

I'm being emotional today. Of course it's my birthday. I looked back those days when I only know in this world who my parents are. Now I almost new anything and everything that I desire. I guess I already have millions of experiences and events happened for 16 years in my life. I know I've been reckless, dishonest, disobedient and unthoughtful for some times, but my parents never turned me down and my two ever close friends, Lacap and Dela Vega. I thank them for sharing happiness with me and to those who have been part of my life.

Life is great. Life is wonderful. Believe it even you have heard it a million times before.

Here are some photos with my siblings on my birthday =]

Thank to those who greeted me.. I appreciate that a lot. muwah!